izmeina: A cute cartoon critter with a bag and a teapot on his head (jolly swagman)
2017-09-15 11:34 pm
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COALition of Crazies

Two years as Top Dog and this is all Trumble has to show for it. Sharing a bed with Bananaby Joyce and pretending that there isn't really a certain third person in the marriage

What's the point of all those brains and eloquence when at heart Trumble is little more than a spineless blobfish who dreams of being an Irukandji when he grows up just like his 'joined at the hip' best mate Donald who really is the most toxic blob on the planet

izmeina: (circle serpent)
2017-09-09 10:22 pm
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September Snippets

Izzie has been missing in Dreamwidth Land for so so long lately. Was almost time to send out a search party.
Both Daisy and Dudley have gone back home so slowly getting back to the usual routine. It was nice spending so much time over at Privet Drive but it all got too much for this introverted serpent and needed to escape and get away from it all now and again.

Aside from Dursleyish dramas, been distracted by the nightmare across the pond. It is like watching a train wreck and being unable to look away.
In fact, stalking and snarking the Donald on twitter was pretty much the only link to Cyberia over the last few months or so.
November is around the corner and it is time to get back in the habit of squiggling. The magic is gone. Totally uninspired lately and not even managing to do the usual 20 minutes here and there just dumping stuff from the green skull into the Pensieve. That could explain the current crazy distracted state of the serpent.
Too much stuff out there and no time to sort it all out and make sense of it all. So so needing to get back to to the rituals of squiggling just to preserve some semblance of serpent sanity.
Sensible sorts use cycling, walking or sport to let off steam. Then of course there’s art, music and other such creative activities. I guess it’s good to diversify. I have all those eggs in the word basket. Not so bad if I had not been neglecting it so much lately.

Maybe it is time to diversify. Doctor’s orders and all that but that is a tale for another day
As well as squiggling, also getting back into the routine of pottering around and doing stuff in the garden. The orange tree is having a second flush of flowers. That is the first time this has happened. Weather has been so weird in the last few years.

Was up in Kings Park today drooling over the wicked weeds. It is the height of the wildflower season here and for folks who cannot get out into the countryside, the botanical gardens at Kings Park are a perfect place to see them. The botanical gardens are well worthy of being on the bucket list of anyone who is nuts about weeds. Australia really does have so many amazing and interesting plants as well as cute and cuddly creatures.

The birds are squawking and the bees are buzzing. It is the most amazing time of year.
izmeina: (Preciousss)
2017-08-15 11:29 pm

Nerdy Birdies

Harry Butler would be proud of his protege David Rowe

Sure hope there's an American field guide in the works

*slinks back into dark serpent Lair*
izmeina: (circle serpent)
2017-08-03 10:00 pm

Missing in Action

Just a quick squiggle to say that the serpent is alive and well but has been largely absent from Cyberia lately.
Daisy Dursley is visiting again and there are the online distractions of Duolingo, The Washington Post and a fascinating online course about fake news and the surveillance state. Pity that the main presenter has an uncanny resemblance to Rolf Harris but with a German accent. It just adds an air of extra creepiness to the whole thing

Also snaffled a copy from the library of "No place to hide" by Glenn Greenwald which is full of the juicy details of the whole Edward Snowden revelations of NSA snooping. It's scary enough that Obama's minions were gathering all those hay stacks of information but truly terrifying to imagine what Steven Bannon and Jared Kushner would do with such a gold mine.
It is a riveting story and offers an offline alternative to slinking about in Cyberia sniffing out Scary Mooch snippets and boy scouts drama. Still not yet read the infamous New Yorker interview and now it is truly most ancient FAKE NEWS

Did finish Camp Nanowrimo but set the bar ridiculously low this year at only 15,000 words instead of the usual 25,000. Mainly because once Daisy arrived 2 weeks ago there would be very little time for squiggling or doing much at all online. Got to make hay while the sun shines

Tomorrow I will be back to using the tweet stone instead of a proper keyboard Portkey to Cyberia so most unlikely to be catching up on comments and other folks posts any time soon. Still reading and keeping up but just not replying much lately
izmeina: Roz with clipboard from Monsters Inc (monsters inc)
2017-07-14 12:55 am

The Last Straw

You know things are sad when a serpent gets more satisfaction and fulfilment wiping windowsills and tabletops and mopping floors than pottering about and slinking in Cyberia
This has been the case for quite a while now but this week has gotten particularly crazy

Since last year now adopted a rather peculiar ritual to go along with the daily Scrooge routine
As well as writing down every single silver sickle spent during the day and on what and preferably in chronological order, I have also taken to using the appointment section of the old fashioned dead tree diary to list what I was doing at the assorted half hour intervals and adding a little grumpy or smily face to indicate how I felt at the time

Mundane musings, rantings and ramblings )
izmeina: a big eared American eagle listening to everything (echelon)
2017-07-07 10:22 pm

The Pictures in the attic

Been a strange week in Dursleyville. Lurked around the lair on my days off because it was too grey and rainy to do much else. Then there is a bit of decluttering and sorting to do to make the place look reasonably respectable for when the Izzie sister visits in a couple of weeks from now.
Thinking of her, could not help but be reminded of July 2014 when she came to visit. They had a choice of coming over here together or taking separate flights one week apart so that her husband wouldn’t use up so much of his annual leave. In the end, they chose to take the first flight and all come together which was just as well because the one they did not take never did make it to Kuala Lumpur and ended up in pieces somewhere in the Ukraine.

Of course for many people who took the flight on 17th July, there were also some who had been toying with a different date. The saddest case was the family where the parents stayed in Amsterdam for an extra week and the three children and their grandfather came back early so that they would be back for the new school term. They never did make it.

I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like for their surviving relatives to be watching the drama going on in Hamburg at the moment so close to the anniversary.
For me it is a giant stage where the players strut and do their stuff all in the pursuit of power, but for the Maslin family like the other 250 or so people on that flight, it is personal

Then there are other reasons for being curious about this particular G20 summit. Many years ago I was living on the outskirts of Hamburg as a sad house elf enslaved to a vile creature who I called Heil Hilde. A blond blue eyed Aryan bitch of bitches with an uncanny resemblance to one KerryAnne Conway and with an equally loose relationship with reality

But any grand plans of being glued to the screen to try figure out where the conferences are being held or to recognize landmarks or watch the hordes of zombies was quickly dashed by a very cranky, slow and sluggish Big Mac
This computer would now be regarded by the puffed up little popinjays in the Apple Store as ‘vintage’ as I got it in late 2009. Positively ancient.
It is very erratic and unpredictable. Some days things go smoothly and other times there are just endless spinning beachballs and it is a struggle to do anything. Typing feels like the keyboard is dripping in treacle as the time between hitting the letters and seeing them appear on the screen gets longer and longer until there is simply no point.
Tonight was one such night.

So I just had to go without. Because if Izzie wants pictures, it’s a poky little tweet stone phone, the Big Mac or nothing. Unlike most folks, there is no television in the house so all news and gossip has to be gotten online or from the radio
Did catch that the slimy Saudi Arabians trumped the Donald by snaffling the hotel room he wanted. That’s Schadenfreude on steroids. At least Merkel will not let him build one of his infernal towers in any German city. Some people at least still have standards

Dodgy Dinner guests at G20

Found the motherlode of crazy creepy political cartoons and it has been so annoying trying to share them on Twitter. Maybe just as well. Because if Don the Con could see all the vile ‘picture in the attic’ portraits that David Rowe does of him, he would not hesitate to nuke Australia back to the stone age
Especially since we have also been taking the piss with the Confessions of a CNN reporter

So much sleaze and such a struggle to share it

Must be off now. Got to get the latest gossip on Donald Trump’s performance appraisal
Let’s hope there are TAPES
izmeina: a big eared American eagle listening to everything (snoops)
2017-07-04 11:50 pm

Fireworks for the Fourth

Izzie has been a bad bad serpent
Already doing a proper online course for mundane muggle reasons but could not stay away from temptation
EdX sent the juiciest owl yesterday spruiking a course called Global Media, War, and Technology

About warfare in the age of Twitter and Facebook and how various states and non state entities are using Cyberia to wage war by other means
And looks like this whole drama is happening right now in real time as Crazy Kim from North Korea sends some pretty Independence Day fireworks in the general direction of the USA
That’s one big scary party they have going on over there

And once again David Rowe has added his wicked twisted spin
Sparks and Snarks - trigger warning NOT SAFE FOR SANITY )
izmeina: creepy spooky old house infested with crawling critters (Haunted house)
2017-07-01 11:48 pm
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Grey July Days

So today is the first day of Plastic Free July

One guaranteed way of having a plastic free day is to stay away from the shops. When it’s grey and miserable and raining cats and dogs all day then it is pretty easy to do
Bad bad Izzie stayed up late last night long after turning into a pumpkin while on the trail of other psycho crazy low IQ orange monsters. But most gossip was just teasers and tidbits although there were some juicy nuggets about Freaky Flynn
So with the rain and all, lurked in the serpent sack all morning listening to the rain and the radio and did not get up until after midday.
It was still raining but in between showers managed to plant the peach tree bought last week along with a few mulberry sticks

Mundane meanderings )
izmeina: Strange Spiral Clock (Spiral)
2017-06-30 11:35 pm
Entry tags:

Goblin Gossip

Here in Oz it is New Year's Eve for the goblins and bean counters.
For normal folks it is half time for the 2017 season

Izzie has a bunch of rituals for this time of year
One which I have broken big time and here's hoping that it does not bring bad luck
One Goblin rule is to always have the plastic fantastic in the black for the end of every month
And being the last day of the financial year it is especially important and auspicious
But the Izzie has been a bad serpent and tempted by too many toys and things and did not use any day this week to make a big fat deposit to get back in black for the big day.

July is Camp Nanowrimo time. Slacking off for a change and going for a pissy 15,000 words rather than the usual 25,000 because Daisy Dursley is coming back to visit in the middle of the month and there is also the minor matter of an online course related to getting a proper paid job
Volunteering is well and good but doesn't pay the rent. Well actually Izzie is very lucky and has no rent to worry about. Housing costs nowadays are mainly water, gas, council rates, insurance and a slush fund for maintenance expenses. It took years of living on the smell of an oily rag to get the mortgage goblins banished but it was so worth it in the end.

But one other annual ritual which usually has a very positive effect on the serpent bottom line is Plastic Free July where participants pledge not to use or purchase any SINGLE use disposable plastic for the whole month which includes the biggie which is the dreaded plastic shopping bags but also straws, anything packed in plastic and pretty much 3/4 of the aisles in any regular supermarket

The unintended side effect of being serious about this challenge means a huge increase in home cooking and using fresh and healthy ingredients because cheap and cheerful cheats like frozen pizzas, shop bought bread and even cheese become completely unkosher because they all come wrapped in single use plastic
There are still delicatessens where you can buy cheese cut off the block and wrapped in wax paper but they are few and far between. Even milk is nearly always sold in plastic cartons or bottles.

It's the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with the one stone. Firstly to save silver sickles on shopping and secondly to actually use up the pantry stash which is a result of the horrible habit of hoarding.

Tomorrow is a big sleep in and will use the opportunity to plant the peach tree bought last week along with a few succulents and to do a whole pile of pottering about in the Lair and the garden
Got to make the place all nice and pretty for Daisy's visit.

Must slink off now to Twitterland. There's juicy gossip brewing concerning the Freak Flynn and those 33,000 missing emails.
There'll be lots of fireworks for the 4th of July. Here's hoping they won't be of the nuclear variety. There's no low to which Don the Con will not go for a bit of deflection and distraction
izmeina: Roz with clipboard from Monsters Inc (monsters inc)
2017-06-29 10:00 pm
Entry tags:

One List to Rule them All

Was supposed to be writing about the entertaining evening last night with drinks and nibblies provided and the guest speaker Julia Gillard.

It really was the biggest John Curtin Memorial lecture ever. Probably bigger than that inauguration ;)
But Oz politics has become just so tame lately since there's much bigger fish across the pond.

Observing the effect that the Ring of Power has on normal folks is fascinating, but watching what it does to a being who was already a nasty nihilistic narcissistic swamp creature (and the hordes of minions) is simply riveting

It's like Animal Farm meets Lord of the Rings

It's funny to find that an ancient antipodean serpent was long lurking and sniffing out tasty Twitter gossip months ago and only now is The Washington Post on the trail of the juiciest morsels of all

Signed up to the evil internet tax dodging #AmazonWashingtonPost a month ago at a bargain basement price but still barely getting around to digging in the vaults for the stinkiest corpses.

Amy is making a list and checking it twice

Sad to say that it is all naughty and no nice

Now it's TIME for some real FAKE NEWS.

izmeina: a big eared American eagle listening to everything (echelon)
2017-06-23 08:20 pm
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Donald the Conqueror

This place is supposed to be a Trump free zone but some fan art pictures are just too amusing for this serpent to keep all to herself

A lying vulture sitting on his ass would be a more appropriate description for such a grand swords and sandals epic

And anyway, since when do real lions consort with sneaky foxes? The inner Slytherin is disgusted already
izmeina: (Crazy Cats)
2017-06-21 10:22 pm
Entry tags:

Crazy Kitty Litter Lady

The Crim Reaper

On this darkest witchiest of days, such a pity Izzie could not find a pic of Don the Con wearing a Dementor's burqa with his axe or sickle in one hand and a giant bacon Whopper in the other

He has been disturbingly quiet over the last few days. Maybe it's the calm before the Tweet storm. Or maybe Steve Bannon has taken a midnight flight to Argentina and left him home alone

Did attempt to indulge in the usual sunset ritual but the critter had gone hiding behind some clouds and for the last few hours it's been raining cats and dogs. Just as well because it has been an incredibly dry and warm winter. If they got this weather in England it would be called a wonderful summer.

In spite of making a special visit to the garden centre for this witchiest of weeks, did not get around to planting the new peach tree or the Buddhas' hand citrus today as originally planned. Made do with a few mulberry twigs that had been sitting in a bowl of water.
Rescued them from Privet Drive more than a month ago and forgot all about them with all the distractions and dramas there lately.

Only yesterday noticed that buds had come up on all of them, the tiniest curl of a leaf or two and even some green feathery baby berries on one twig.

So did manage to plant something for the day. Most importantly, added the magic ingredient of several handfuls of kitty litter into the planting hole for the mulberry twigs

Now the shops have taken to stocking some dodgy brands such as Purina from the USA which are twice the price of the perfectly good local stuff. But the big prize goes to the muck from Middle Earth also known as New Zealand
It's not your average clumping clay but volcanic rock zeolite which happens to contain all sorts of interesting trace elements and of course holds lots of liquid which is precisely why it gets used for soaking up cat pee. It also happens to be a home brand which means it's less than 1/4 price of the competitors.

Izzie with her mad hat and bags and stuff looks like your average crazy cat lady, so when buying a bag of this stuff at the supermarket talk invariably turns to those elusive feline creatures. Folks are always surprised to find me buying the stuff when I haven't even got a cat. Visits from the neighbour's moggies don't quite count.

But any would be burglars who come lurking around the Lair on seeing the big orange bags of kitty litter and the angel's trumpet flowers near the gate along with an assortment of ghost chilies are hopefully sufficiently scared off. If they did get inside they would probably get attacked by the stacks of books and not a TV or half decent tech toy to be seen.

It is just such a pity that some of the more interesting plants find this bit of the world just a bit too warm for their tastes. But then there's always an assortment of pitcher plants or durian fruit to add to the Witch list of weeds.
izmeina: a big eared American eagle listening to everything (big brother)
2017-06-08 09:54 pm
Entry tags:

Celebrity Spook and other dramas

Let the Twitter Games begin!

Promises to be the best Reality TV show since that inauguration

Politics really is Hollywood for ugly people
izmeina: Strange Spiral Clock (Time Turner)
2017-06-06 11:06 pm
Entry tags:

Dark and Difficult Times

When you live in a graveyard, you cannot weep for everyone

It sure feels like that lately. There seems to be far more than the usual occurrences of doom and gloom these days.
There was the Manchester Massacre just over 2 weeks ago followed by the attacks on buses carrying Coptic Christians which barely made the news for a day here.
There was the attack near the embassies in Kabul followed by yet another attack in the United Kingdom, a mass shooting in Orlando Florida now followed by a murder in Melbourne where some narcissistic nut job looking for his 15 minutes of fame claims allegiance to both ISIS and Al Qaeda. A bit like proclaiming to be be a supporter of Manchester United and Liverpool at the same time.
Another sad event that slipped under the radar was the murder of two men in Portland who came to the aid of some Muslim girls who were being harassed by some guttersnipe who then turned his attention to them. It is sickening that they had to pay for basic human decency with their lives. Others may think twice now before daring to do the right thing.

There's no point in even getting started with the anniversaries. Hard to believe that it is nearly a year since the murder of nearly 50 people in a night club in Orlando.

The recent drama in Melbourne is also scarily reminiscent of the sad story of the Lindt Cafe loser. I refuses to name the perpetrators. No need to give them the infamy they so desperately desire. While 20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing, it is simply not possible for the police and spooks to keep eyes on the enormous numbers of 'persons of interest'. For every one that extra attention is paid to, another can slip through the net, but it defies belief that those found guilty of numerous violent crimes somehow manage to get out on bail.

But then lurking in the background feasting on all of this misery is the Shakespearean Villain Iago who hisses hatred and snarls and sneers at those who are trying to light candles in the darkness. He never gets his own tiny hands dirty as he tweets away incessantly egging on his minions to do the work of the devil for him.

While the decent people of the world are trying to fix up the mess, he sneers at their efforts and fans the flames of fear and hatred just for the pleasure of watching the world burn.
Desperate times call for desperate measures and by the time James Comey swears to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth a few days from now, God knows what demonic distractions he will unleash between now and then. He could have got a whole week or more out of the two fingers up to the Paris Accord if ISIS had not wiped that story well and truly off the front page with yet another appalling attempt to associate bridges with death and destruction rather than unity and cooperation.

I would not put it past the Saudis to stir up the latest Qatar drama as a return favour for their friend and benefactor and Dark Lord of the Orb of Doom. A bit of projection and deflection may work wonders for them as it seems to do for him.

But with a bit of luck, he will be forced to drink from his own poisoned chalice. All those folks he trashed and destroyed on his way up will be ever so happy to return the favour on the way down.

Yes fame and fortune truly is a fickle friend.
izmeina: A cute cartoon critter with a bag and a teapot on his head (jolly swagman)
2017-06-01 11:00 pm

The Loon in June

At this rate, it looks like the serpent will never catch up with the gossip in Cyberia.
Been back lurking in the Lair since Saturday but hardly ever online with access to a proper big screen and keyboard.

This should have been the week for catching up but there was the distraction of the annual heritage festival. Missed many events due to events at the Dursleys but there were still a few tasty morsels left for this week. Notre Dame University put on far too many tempting evening lectures with titles such as "Journalists and the first draft of history", "Australia, Trump and the American Alliance" and this evening's offering "Heroes and Villains, crime and history" on the subject of celebrity criminals and Dodgy Donald didn't even get a mention.

I will have to pass on the annual ritual of the university guided tour due to work tomorrow.

It was a fun week of fake news, alternative facts and grovelling deputy sheriffs. Even managed to plant a few weeds in the Lair while listen to scary stories on the radio about the blasphemy laws in Pakistan and how even the laid back Indonesians are turning into a bunch of feral fundamentalists. That Saudi Orb of Darkness is leaving its trail of destruction everywhere.

So here is hoping that this month sees a return to the usual serpent abnormality. Funny. It took several week's absence from the Lair to realize just how much I miss it.

Got so much catching up to do with dusting, mopping and generally restoring some order to the crazy chaos. Who knows, I might even manage to invite Petunia over when she is feeling a bit better.
izmeina: Strange Spiral Clock (Time Turner)
2017-05-25 12:00 pm

Back in the land of the living

Just a quick serpent squiggle to report that all the Dursleys are alive and well.
Daisy and Dudley have flown back home and Izzie has been lurking at Privet Drive since last week
But that means no proper Big Mac keyboard and just this pokey tweet phone as a Portkey to Cyberia
So much gossip and so little possibility for a proper posting
Will be back at the Lair tomorrow so hoping to catch up on all those long overdue emails and comments
izmeina: (Don't panic)
2017-05-01 11:22 pm

Drama at the Dursleys

Any moment now, the dreadful Dudley Dursley will darken the door of the Lair
Ten days of stress and drama await as the princes of Pity Parties regale their captive audiences with tales of suffering and woe worthy of a Dementor
Poor old Petunia doesn't stand a chance up against this lot. Strange considering that she is the reason for their presence in the first place

It so sucks using an itsy bitsy phone to hunt and peck letters when I can write 50 words per minute in Scrivener with a proper keyboard

So many interesting Friends post and so little alone time to catch up with comments
izmeina: spooky shadowy squid (scary squid)
2017-04-25 09:40 am

Golden Oldies

In spite of the dramas at the Dursleys, Izzie has still found time to be slinking and snooping and tweeking the Time Turner and encountered the juiciest tastiest Trump morsels
Gold Fingers

A veritable gold mine of tweetable quotes and super scary revelations

"Trump was seen on the news shows offering his services to negotiate with the Russians. There was talk that he might make a run for president"
izmeina: Strange Spiral Clock (Spiral)
2017-04-17 10:22 pm
Entry tags:

Strange Days

What a week

If we ever needed proof that
The fish rots from the head
Then this week was it

Just another week in Washington

More of the madness

Originally tried to embed rather than use links but they seem to disapparate when clicked

The vanishing tweets )

At this rate we will be lucky to get to the end of the next one
izmeina: (circle serpent)
2017-04-13 10:22 pm

Off the Rails

A quick squiggle from Nanoland. This has been the strangest Camp Nano in the last few years and bears an uncanny resemblance to the adventures of August 2012

The map was all rolled out and ready to go. The path should have been pretty easy. Usually Camp Nano is the perfect occasion to get in a bit of practice in writing and brainstorming by grabbing a pack of Devil’s playing cards as writing prompts then churning through them slowly and steadily in the hope of generating as many ideas and leads as possible for the big event in November.

But this time I decided to do things a bit differently. Instead of laying the foundations for a new project, would devote this time to adding more words to last November’s zero draft. All the serpent needed to do was to add a whole bunch of new scenes and try to steer the story into some relatively coherent shape.

The Art of the Steal was about a devil doing deals and offering numerous political fixes in exchange for souls to fill his bright shiny Celebrity trophy cabinet.

It should have been so easy since Dodgy Donald and his minions have exceeded even the worst of expectations.
Between Twitter snippets and even just following the daily news here, there is bucket loads of raw material so it should have been possible to almost go in zombie mode.

But the inner serpent is not playing nicely.

Of course there have been quite a few distractions in the last few months.

Playing with the Pensieve )