![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Cooling Down
New Year’s Eve was as hot as hell and the mercury had even passed the dreaded 40. But it was a dry heat and it was reasonably comfortable sitting outside in the shade. The sky was a nice clear blue with a handful of wispy clouds. So at least it would cool down quickly around sunset. How silly of Izzie to think so
By 4pm had landed at Napoleon Street en route to the beach for the last sunset of the year. It was still hot but had become all cloudy. The air was heavy like just before a storm and it seemed most likely that there would be no sunset or rather not one visible to mere mortals
It was much too muggy to sit outside the one cafe that had not closed. So sat inside and sipped tea and ridiculous quantities of water.
While going to the table where all the newspapers were came across a little blue card with a picture of a crystal clear blue sandy beach and the intriguing title “Summer at Dharmapala Buddhist Centre”
On the back was a list of courses and classes. Nearly had fits of hysterical giggling when reading the title of the first one
Cool Down
We all get irritated and annoyed but there are simple methods we can apply that will mean that no matter what difficulties we face we remain calm
The first class started at 7pm on Monday 7th January. Figured that this is exactly what the serpent needed to start the new year. Especially as the most annoying and frustrating fact was having spent more than a year in that wonderful state of being unfazed by almost anything and desperately wanting it back
It was too much to expect the green lightening to strike in the same place twice and sure enough it didn’t. But there was nothing to be lost in trying.
It seemed appropriate that this class started on a day that turned out to be one of the pickliest and muggiest ever. Even around 7pm it was still hot and humid. Not going totally troppo was requiring a ridiculous amount of effort and a desperate desire for an easier way.
Was most surprised to find just how many people turned up for this class. It must have been a good forty plus
Had just come from the supermarket before sitting in the park for twenty minutes before the start of the class so was still in a rather agitated state
The first 30 minutes or so were devoted to closing our eyes and concentrating on our breathing. And there I am distractedly thinking that there better be more to the class than this. There were simply hordes of marauding monkeys in the serpent mind and they would not be silenced.
But then the teacher got down to basics with the facts and stuff. And that is when it got very interesting
She said that she assumed most folks would be looking forward to a happy new year and then asked what sort of things we might want to make it happy
Firstly getting lots of stuff we want like a new car, a new house, holidays, and lots of toys and then not getting things we don’t want like no bush fires, hurricanes or heat waves, not to get sacked and not to have fights with friends and relatives
Now what are the chances of getting all of that? Very very small. Oh it looks like 2013 won’t be happy after all just like 2012 wasn’t or 2011 and so on and on ad infinitum.
So if you are relying on external events to be happy the chances are not looking good at all however all is not lost. With the right mind set it is possible to be happy pretty much regardless of external circumstances
She described four delusional states of mind and said that anger was one of the worst of them, that irritation and annoyance are not quite as extreme as murderous rage but were still forms of anger. Anger delights in finding some tiny fault in a person, thing or situation, blowing it out of all proportion and then trying to get rid of it believing that is the only way one can be happy
She says the aim is not to repress and control anger once it arises but to stop it coming up in the first place. Once it is already out of its cage it will be only a matter of time before it erupts and often over some seemingly trivial thing
She first talked about the nature and effects of anger before moving on to banishing it. She says that anger makes you stupid. You become completely incapable of acting rationally or observing objectively and end up doing stuff that can cause harm and injury to those around you
She smiles and says. Oh you might apologize later and your nearest and dearest will claim to accept your apologies and act as if nothing ever happened. But I can assure you they won’t. What has been said and done in rage cannot be taken back. It is out there forever
The bit I just loved was when she asked if anyone had seen the pictures on the sport pages of the paper lately. She said that a certain cricketer was having a hissy fit of rage. She added that he apparently ‘recently spent a lot of money getting a make over’ but you would never have guessed looking at those pictures
So many people out there spend so much effort wanting to look attractive to other people and will spare no expense to do so. But a hissy fit will quickly undo all that work and is a very very ugly look indeed
I so so have to agree when she said that the best thing you can do for your looks is to not indulge in anger. She claimed it is one trait you will not see in that rare breed of old people who have the twinkle in their eye. I suspect that the twinkle in the eye and anger are not compatible at any age.
Some of the other wonderful side effects include being flat and brain dead after. Also being in an agitated state not only makes it impossible to think clearly but also makes it difficult to sleep leading to tiredness then more irritability and before you know it you are on a rapid descent into total misery
Not only is it not possible to be angry and happy at the same time but anger reduces your ability to be happy in the future too and ‘burns up your karma big time’
I’m not into the whole karma thing but replace karma with good will and it is most definitely true. Friends come and go but enemies accumulate. The only reason to put up with an angry person is if you desire or depend on the resources they control.
Had already suspected that resentment and anger towards a certain toad and her goblin minions was much of the reason for my recent state of almost constant agitation. The lucid moments of being in the present were becoming less and less frequent and attempts to snap out of the low level resentment and misery were just not working.
To that end had created all sorts of banishing rituals. Quite a few of those took place on New Year’s Eve. They seem to have had some effect but the weather is weakening the serpent will.
Any time toadish thoughts come to mind, I recite the mantra ‘ancient history’ to banish them. Here’s hoping that by focussing on the future and letting bygones be bygones that the shadow will not be cast over the bright shiny if stinking sweltering hot new year
So this Buddhist nun had confirmed the causes of recent serpent sleeplessness and general irritability
Most anger boils down to one or two causes - you didn’t get something you wanted or felt entitled to or you did get something you didn’t want. And of course it is always some one else’s fault. Anger likes to blame and play the victim and never takes responsibility for its actions
She says that during the next week when we start feeling peeved we should try work out which of those two situations apply. The simple act of observing and categorizing will take some of the fire out of the feelings
I would have added that a lot of people get angry when they feel they have been disrespected or insulted but that could come under the category of not getting respect or getting disrespect
It was interesting to hear what she regarded as the antidote to anger. Would have thought of detachment or calm. It wasn’t. It was patience
She said that a big problem in our society is that many people see anger as a sign of strength and patience as a sign of weakness. But lack of control is not a sign of strength and if you think patience is for wimps then just try it.
Then it was time to meditate on the disadvantages of anger and advantages of patience. After all if you don’t really want to adopt a certain trait in your heart then it simply won’t happen.
Next week’s topic will be dealing with anger towards other people and the third and final week about anger towards things.
It was still hot and sticky after the class. Decided to join in the cup of tea after class rather than rush to get the 8.45 bus. Rushing is a guaranteed way to induce irritability by creating unnecessary obstacles.
Did feel much more relaxed in spite of the icky sticky weather.
Had more time to ponder on what had been said and came up with an inspired idea for the most useful mantra to adopt for the year. Best of all it requires only a tiny tweek of an old favourite that possibly had unintended negative side effects
2012 was the year of Constant Vigilance. 2013 is the year of Constant Patience
Only time will tell if this is the elusive path to return to the magical state that invoked the serpent incarnation eleven years ago
By 4pm had landed at Napoleon Street en route to the beach for the last sunset of the year. It was still hot but had become all cloudy. The air was heavy like just before a storm and it seemed most likely that there would be no sunset or rather not one visible to mere mortals
It was much too muggy to sit outside the one cafe that had not closed. So sat inside and sipped tea and ridiculous quantities of water.
While going to the table where all the newspapers were came across a little blue card with a picture of a crystal clear blue sandy beach and the intriguing title “Summer at Dharmapala Buddhist Centre”
On the back was a list of courses and classes. Nearly had fits of hysterical giggling when reading the title of the first one
Cool Down
We all get irritated and annoyed but there are simple methods we can apply that will mean that no matter what difficulties we face we remain calm
The first class started at 7pm on Monday 7th January. Figured that this is exactly what the serpent needed to start the new year. Especially as the most annoying and frustrating fact was having spent more than a year in that wonderful state of being unfazed by almost anything and desperately wanting it back
It was too much to expect the green lightening to strike in the same place twice and sure enough it didn’t. But there was nothing to be lost in trying.
It seemed appropriate that this class started on a day that turned out to be one of the pickliest and muggiest ever. Even around 7pm it was still hot and humid. Not going totally troppo was requiring a ridiculous amount of effort and a desperate desire for an easier way.
Was most surprised to find just how many people turned up for this class. It must have been a good forty plus
Had just come from the supermarket before sitting in the park for twenty minutes before the start of the class so was still in a rather agitated state
The first 30 minutes or so were devoted to closing our eyes and concentrating on our breathing. And there I am distractedly thinking that there better be more to the class than this. There were simply hordes of marauding monkeys in the serpent mind and they would not be silenced.
But then the teacher got down to basics with the facts and stuff. And that is when it got very interesting
She said that she assumed most folks would be looking forward to a happy new year and then asked what sort of things we might want to make it happy
Firstly getting lots of stuff we want like a new car, a new house, holidays, and lots of toys and then not getting things we don’t want like no bush fires, hurricanes or heat waves, not to get sacked and not to have fights with friends and relatives
Now what are the chances of getting all of that? Very very small. Oh it looks like 2013 won’t be happy after all just like 2012 wasn’t or 2011 and so on and on ad infinitum.
So if you are relying on external events to be happy the chances are not looking good at all however all is not lost. With the right mind set it is possible to be happy pretty much regardless of external circumstances
She described four delusional states of mind and said that anger was one of the worst of them, that irritation and annoyance are not quite as extreme as murderous rage but were still forms of anger. Anger delights in finding some tiny fault in a person, thing or situation, blowing it out of all proportion and then trying to get rid of it believing that is the only way one can be happy
She says the aim is not to repress and control anger once it arises but to stop it coming up in the first place. Once it is already out of its cage it will be only a matter of time before it erupts and often over some seemingly trivial thing
She first talked about the nature and effects of anger before moving on to banishing it. She says that anger makes you stupid. You become completely incapable of acting rationally or observing objectively and end up doing stuff that can cause harm and injury to those around you
She smiles and says. Oh you might apologize later and your nearest and dearest will claim to accept your apologies and act as if nothing ever happened. But I can assure you they won’t. What has been said and done in rage cannot be taken back. It is out there forever
The bit I just loved was when she asked if anyone had seen the pictures on the sport pages of the paper lately. She said that a certain cricketer was having a hissy fit of rage. She added that he apparently ‘recently spent a lot of money getting a make over’ but you would never have guessed looking at those pictures
So many people out there spend so much effort wanting to look attractive to other people and will spare no expense to do so. But a hissy fit will quickly undo all that work and is a very very ugly look indeed
I so so have to agree when she said that the best thing you can do for your looks is to not indulge in anger. She claimed it is one trait you will not see in that rare breed of old people who have the twinkle in their eye. I suspect that the twinkle in the eye and anger are not compatible at any age.
Some of the other wonderful side effects include being flat and brain dead after. Also being in an agitated state not only makes it impossible to think clearly but also makes it difficult to sleep leading to tiredness then more irritability and before you know it you are on a rapid descent into total misery
Not only is it not possible to be angry and happy at the same time but anger reduces your ability to be happy in the future too and ‘burns up your karma big time’
I’m not into the whole karma thing but replace karma with good will and it is most definitely true. Friends come and go but enemies accumulate. The only reason to put up with an angry person is if you desire or depend on the resources they control.
Had already suspected that resentment and anger towards a certain toad and her goblin minions was much of the reason for my recent state of almost constant agitation. The lucid moments of being in the present were becoming less and less frequent and attempts to snap out of the low level resentment and misery were just not working.
To that end had created all sorts of banishing rituals. Quite a few of those took place on New Year’s Eve. They seem to have had some effect but the weather is weakening the serpent will.
Any time toadish thoughts come to mind, I recite the mantra ‘ancient history’ to banish them. Here’s hoping that by focussing on the future and letting bygones be bygones that the shadow will not be cast over the bright shiny if stinking sweltering hot new year
So this Buddhist nun had confirmed the causes of recent serpent sleeplessness and general irritability
Most anger boils down to one or two causes - you didn’t get something you wanted or felt entitled to or you did get something you didn’t want. And of course it is always some one else’s fault. Anger likes to blame and play the victim and never takes responsibility for its actions
She says that during the next week when we start feeling peeved we should try work out which of those two situations apply. The simple act of observing and categorizing will take some of the fire out of the feelings
I would have added that a lot of people get angry when they feel they have been disrespected or insulted but that could come under the category of not getting respect or getting disrespect
It was interesting to hear what she regarded as the antidote to anger. Would have thought of detachment or calm. It wasn’t. It was patience
She said that a big problem in our society is that many people see anger as a sign of strength and patience as a sign of weakness. But lack of control is not a sign of strength and if you think patience is for wimps then just try it.
Then it was time to meditate on the disadvantages of anger and advantages of patience. After all if you don’t really want to adopt a certain trait in your heart then it simply won’t happen.
Next week’s topic will be dealing with anger towards other people and the third and final week about anger towards things.
It was still hot and sticky after the class. Decided to join in the cup of tea after class rather than rush to get the 8.45 bus. Rushing is a guaranteed way to induce irritability by creating unnecessary obstacles.
Did feel much more relaxed in spite of the icky sticky weather.
Had more time to ponder on what had been said and came up with an inspired idea for the most useful mantra to adopt for the year. Best of all it requires only a tiny tweek of an old favourite that possibly had unintended negative side effects
2012 was the year of Constant Vigilance. 2013 is the year of Constant Patience
Only time will tell if this is the elusive path to return to the magical state that invoked the serpent incarnation eleven years ago