The Lair of the Emerald Serpent

New Year’s Eve was as hot as hell and the mercury had even passed the dreaded 40. But it was a dry heat and it was reasonably comfortable sitting outside in the shade. The sky was a nice clear blue with a handful of wispy clouds. So at least it would cool down quickly around sunset. How silly of Izzie to think so

By 4pm had landed at Napoleon Street en route to the beach for the last sunset of the year. It was still hot but had become all cloudy. The air was heavy like just before a storm and it seemed most likely that there would be no sunset or rather not one visible to mere mortals
It was much too muggy to sit outside the one cafe that had not closed. So sat inside and sipped tea and ridiculous quantities of water.

While going to the table where all the newspapers were came across a little blue card with a picture of a crystal clear blue sandy beach and the intriguing title “Summer at Dharmapala Buddhist Centre”

On the back was a list of courses and classes. Nearly had fits of hysterical giggling when reading the title of the first one

Cool Down

We all get irritated and annoyed but there are simple methods we can apply that will mean that no matter what difficulties we face we remain calm

( Angry ants and Monkey minds )

A certain anniversary looms on the horizon and Izzie cannot help but think how very much different things are now but also strangely similar

The memory of an event always seems somewhat stronger around the time of year it occurred and even more so when the days and dates coincide

This makes the Christmas of 2007 and even 2001 much more vivid than last year’s. That was a Sunday and the other two were on Tuesdays and the last two of those three Tuesdays were hotter than hell

After a particularly miserable year in 2001 decided to try wipe the slate clean for 2002. In aid of this noble aim adopted a mantra inspired by the spirals in a rather geekish book entitled “e - the story of a number” and a favourite quote from the recently read first four Potter books. While “There is no good or evil - only power and those too weak to seek it” was by far the most favourite quote, it was not exactly the sort of thing suitable for an idealistic beginning to a brand new untainted year

That honour went to a sentence from “The Chamber of Secrets” “It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities”
In only two days this combination had yielded fruit and the present serpent incarnation suddenly and most unexpectedly came into being. It was a most wondrous and magical time. Things that had seemed impossible had become effortless and a grumpy lump of misery became a bright and bubbly effervescent and very mischievous creature. This was not a one day wonder but lasted a good two years before the magic slowly yielded to mundane reality. Even the Dursleys noticed and suspected the involvement of illicit mind altering substances

While the magic shield retained its power, Izzie felt much happier, had more energy and strangely attracted all sorts of wonderful people and things in both the mundane and virtual worlds. All of this took place with no effort or will at all unlike all those previous exhausting and futile attempts to change

Spent a good while since then trying to understand this strange and mysterious process and lamented how the magic slowly faded into oblivion. But the memory remained and the hope that once again its transformative power could be resurrected.

( In search of the Word )

When good intentions and will power don’t work then it’s time to get sneaky and use imagination instead. Visions of a winged feather light serpent flying above and beyond all that heavy soul destroying stuff and leaving it all behind just might work where all those schedules, timetables and nagging inner critics didn’t.

The Mayan feathered serpent didn’t bring the trail of destruction that the doom sayers predicted so an Izzie incarnation shouldn’t do too much harm either. Fluffy angel white wings or a pale shade of silver should go well with those emerald scales.
Only a couple of more days now before it’s finally time to unleash the bright shiny new inner beast

2013 will once again be The Year of the Serpent

It looks like there's less then 20 hours left for the world to end. By then we will all be taking bets on the next likely date for the Zombie Apocalypse, the Rapture or the End of Days. The Rapture would be fun because we'd get rid of all those Holy Rollers and happy clappers.

Been absent of late. In spite of this serpents' allergy to children last week's school shooting was seriously disturbing and spooky especially so near Christmas. But almost as scary and downright terrifying is some of what passes for discussion in the live journal community Politicartoons

The devotion of some Americans to their guns is downright disturbing. Logic goes out the window when the reptilian brain gets fired up. After all, a Smith and Wesson always beats four aces. And these buggers think that a pistol is still insufficient. For what legitimate purpose could one possibly need a weapon that fires dozens of shots without needing to reload? People are seriously suggesting this would not have happened if the kids and teachers had guns too! Like possessing these things automatically makes you a good shot and a reasonable person who would never ever use them but for the noblest of purposes.
Guessing it would be near impossible to put huge taxes on bullets as there'd be a thriving black market in the infernal things

Spent the last few years getting over a workplace where trust and cooperation had been totally destroyed. A culture of arse covering, box ticking and fear without weapons is toxic enough without putting the whole thing on steroids.

Got to thinking that the end of days would look most attractive indeed if the alternative was to live in a society so lacking in trust that teachers would ever had to bring guns to class and where the top dogs treat everyone else as lamp posts.


In the meantime, Izzie has started negotiations with the inner serpent in an attempt to tame the other beasts that are rampaging around in the basement of her brain. Maybe they are secret agents of the toad and her goblin masters or just a bunch of dementors not allergic to chocolate.
Whatever they are, they've been making the last few months a veritable misery and it's time for them to be evicted

Now that it looks like the world will not be ending after all, it's no longer possible to outsource this job

( Sunset )

In spite of an incredibly mild and mostly gorgeous December, the weather bureau is predicting a most pickly 40 celsius for Christmas Day itself. That will be seriously sucky. It will be like 2007 all over again. And still the silly twits in the shops insist on their reindeer and snowflakes and there'll be countless sad South Brits slaving over turkey, pumpkin and roast potatoes and big slobbering serves of plum pudding

It's enough to turn a serpent into a pagan.

Izzie has been up and down like a yo yo all over the place. Here's hoping we can end the craziness at the stroke of midnight. Even in Oz, October is one of Izzie's favorite months. The light is still reasonably delicate by Oz standards, the days not too short or too long and not horrid and hot like so often from November onwards. But most importantly, all the pretty little critters are blooming and blossoming everywhere. At the moment the main stars are the wattles, orange blossoms and cute macadamia catkins

Slowly but surely working out what the triggers to the madness are. Bags and buses are by far the worst offenders. Or it's more correct to say that they are most likely to be triggers when Izzie slinks from boom and bloom into the doom and gloom phase.
Had just about the whole week of holidays and a special day saved for the happy Hippie greenie garden festival ruined due to this uncontrollable neurotic streak

It was funny. One of the worst days of all was Thursday 17th. Started out perfectly fine sitting out in the garden in the sun sniffing the orange blossoms. It was the bus to Fremantle that marked the transition from calm to downright loopy and crazy. Not just the bat out of hell driving and constant slamming of the brakes but the silly Izzie swipe card making cranky noises at the end of the trip. Getting a constant loud red beep saying try again 3 or 4 times in a row when there's a bunch of other critters also waiting to swipe their cards and get off too was enough to evoke instant paranoia, panic stations and claustrophobia.
At this stage, the pesky red lightseses have almost become an omen and a self fulfilling prophecy of doom
There was just the constant drip drip of seemingly insignificant things and minor irritations crowned by unexpected rain while sitting near the plane trees in the garden of the old lunatic asylum just about to squiggle in the green spiral notebook and drool for the first time over a dark gloomy gorgeous new deck of tarot cards.
Lucky they copped no more than a drop or two but since the exact same thing happened in the same garden two weeks previously, the Izzie was getting seriously spooked out

After another bus ride from hell with the critters in the bottle shop trying to overcharge and short change this serpent, slinked back to the lair sulking too miserable to even drown the sorrows and just curled up in the serpent basket for the night at the ridiculous hour of 8pm
No point in slinking in Cyberia. Such a sad mental state would just encourage a convention of every egg timer and spinning beachball in the known universe.

But there was still the minor matter of Friday morning. Was rostered on at the weekly public speaking group to do a five minute speech on the topic of "Tug of War"
Was absolutely and totally brain dead and totally uninspired. But the serpent also has a policy of always turning up and doing a speech if the name is on the list. Of course, with such a run of luck, it would be quite likely to either miss the bus or get run over by it on the way but if this did not happen, would need to be prepared
So determined that this would not be the day to play the Chicken card (turning up and requesting not to do the speech due to lack of inspiration, preparation or whatever) it was a case of summoning the absent muse for inspiration
And that is exactly what Izzie did. With the topic being "Tug of War" why not talk about the war in the serpent skull between the gloomy doomy miserable inner Vernon Dursley who likes to ruin everything and the wise, fun loving crazy inner serpent that is Izzie.
Dursley is the one who makes you miss the bus by two seconds and then when you finally do get one, it's red lights and traffic jams all the way

It was quite funny. Not only did the audience love it but the critic did too. Loved the bit where he said that he got all green lights on the way to the meeting that morning so his inner Izzie must have been out and about. (especially as we hadn't even mentioned that characteristic of the inner serpent - he just inferred the opposite from those dreadful Dursleyish red lights)
In some strange way, the more specific you are about your own quirks and craziness, the more universal you are to others. They are probably thinking that they are the only one who also has to juggle such crazy critters inside their heads and it is a relief to know they are not alone
And not a single one of them realized that apart from the general structure of the main idea, the whole speech was improvised on the spot
Even got awarded the Stirrers' Spoon for the most stirring speech of the day

But that wasn't enough to scare old Vernon away entirely. He lingered about the whole week and did not leave until the following Thursday.
Then things went the opposite way. All green lights and good luck and last Friday even got presented with the certificate for completing the intermediate speaking program - the one where ditzy disorganized Izzie managed to lose the signing sheet for a good 3 years or so. But got there in the end.
Here's hoping Izzie will still be the boss tomorrow and Friday. Will be going to the Royal Show on Friday and it's not the sort of place where a puritanical claustrophobic grumpy miserable Dursley is welcome.

Izzie has many addictions. One of these includes the annual charity second hand book sale at one of the universities. Actually - there's two - one north of the river at the university and the other south of the river.
Indulged in absolute restraint last year and went to neither of them but two years in a row would be deprivation beyond endurance

Well, aside from that - the official excuse for attending was the search for ancient chemistry text books for a certain artistic project
So slinks by on Monday afternoon expecting happy half price day as is the custom on the south side. But no. That's on Tuesday instead. So did you expect to see a demonstration of Izzie discipline and a slink straight back to the Lair? Not very likely
Entered the hallowed halls and spent a good 90 minutes there. The prices have certainly gone up from previous years - lots of 6-10 silver sickle price tags rather than the usual 2-4 per book. But there were still some certainly worth snatching.
Was amazed to find a very esoteric big fat book by Izzie's favorite writer ever (Douglas Hofstadter) for a ridiculous $$2. It was worth the trip for this one alone.
Took the chance with a lot of the witchy things. They were supermarket sort of stuff - no Phyllis Currott, Alistair Crowley or Don Milo DuQuette amongst this lot. Will leave them lying there and pick them up half price on Tuesday. Useful stuff for cutting and pasting in DIY potions books

There was one big fat book about colour and drawing that stood out from the rest of the pack. It was full of amazing illustrations and gorgeous colour wheels - more like butterflies or mandalas than boring utilitarian artist tools
Sort of like "The Artist's Way" for visual artists - with a bit of the spiritual stuff but not laid on totally thick and none of the annoying AA 12 step stuff. Was ready to snatch and grab until seeing the rather outrageous price tag of 25 silver sickles. It might be good but it's not THAT good. So took the chance of coming back the next day hoping to get it for 12
But Izzie was not the only one with such cheapskate thoughts. And who ever else had them got there first

So the fact it was not attainable made the allure even greater. But how do you go about consulting the Oracle of Google looking for a book without knowing either the title or the author's name (all bags and things had to be left at the entrance so Izzie had no pen and paper with her and was silly enough not to make an effort to remember) remembering only that the cover was blue with some circles on it and that there were a lot of colour palettes, grey scales and symmetrical images inside

Tried guessing at the title. "Towards the Light" led nowhere. Stuff about one Michael Jackson and stuff about Islam. Most likely not related to each other and certainly not to this particular book
Searching for art therapy books in Amazon led nowhere. Talk about looking for a needle in a hay stack. Attempts at guessing at key phrases and statistically improbably phrases also did not deliver the goods.
Was not really sure even what sort of category to look under - art therapy, art techniques, art and colour, self help etc etc etc
The books like "The Artist's Way" were no help either

Since there were circles on the cover, tried the indirect route of looking for books about mandalas. No luck there either. But one book did turn up that was blue with circle on it. Not the right colour but something about the name stirred the inner serpent. Judith Cornell. Not sure who the hell she is but let's click to see what else she's written
And there we are. The jackpot. Just could not believe our luck. But it gets better. There's a google books linkie. Izzie goes clickie and confirmed beyond all possible doubt that not only was this the ONE but now that we could peek at leisure without any need for clock watching or penny pinching, that it was definitely worth snatching.
After currency, postage and handling costs, the USD $15 Amazon price will be just short of 25 Oz silver sickles. So would have been just as well off snatching it on Monday and the money would have gone to a good cause
But somehow - the effort involved in the hunt and such quick results in a seemingly impossible mission has added to the value immensely and now we can also snatch her mandala book in the same book order

The other thing that was fascinating was to see the inner serpent in action. Had somehow remembered rather more than first suspected when looking at this book
Drawing the Light from Within