The serpent has an assortment of strange rituals. One of them is to create a 3 month, 1 year and 5 year plan to be rewritten and reviewed around the time of the equinoxes or solstices.
So it is not that long ago since the most recent revision and I sort of got tired of endlessly rewriting certain items on the agenda
The main offenders being the Teapot Tree, Scarecrows and Hexen Ecke in the garden along with the Design your Own tarot deck which has been on the long finger for a good five years or even more now.
But one item stood out as being especially pesky. Sorting out the serpent stash of books.
Part of the problem stems from the fact that books breed like rabbits while book shelves breed like pandas. Then there is the weekly shift at the op shop sorting, pricing and displaying books on the shelves and there are just so many tasty tempting morsels to drool over. It’s sort of like a boozer getting a job in the bottle shop.
So being October and Nanowrimo on the horizon and all that, figured it is time to finally make a start. The best strategy is to be a sneaky serpent in order to get past the inner beast who likes to sabotage everything
I had seen how successful the strategy was of spending just 20 minutes pruning the woollybush in the garden so adopted the same trick for the book shelves
Will pick just one book case and just one itsy bitty shelf to sort out.
There cannot be possibly any harm in that. And before you know it, by the end of the week the whole 5 shelves are done and the inner beast is still sleeping soundly and does not suspect a thing.
So this particular book case was the last to be added to the Lair way back in July 2014. In spite of having “4 new book cases” on the wish list each solstice and each equinox, nothing was happening.
The top shelf got devoted to goblins and their minions. The Wolf of Wall Street shared shelf space with Warren Buffett and the wonderful Freakonomics folks.
The new wave of Perestroika found more additions to the top shelf. Gina Rinehart, Warren Buffet, Vladimir Putin and He who must not be named all found a place there. Donald’s “Art of the Deal” shared a space with “Putin’s Russia” on the right and Hillary’s “Hard Choices” on the left.
But these accommodation arrangements proved rather unsatisfactory. It was bedlam on the book shelves. So Hillary moved downstairs to share space with Michael Moore and Joe Bageant’s “Rainbow Pie” and Donald kept his room mate Vlad but Alan Bond and Rupert Murdoch got added to his friend’s list. Art imitates life (Alan Bond is the Oz equivalent of The Donald - a con man to the bone and they even share a connection to the America’s Cup yacht race in common)
"Dial M for Murdoch" just has to be one of the best book titles ever.
So the first three shelves got devoted to Wall Street, Goblins and their minions and assorted current affairs and history stuff. Irshad Manji, Ayaan Hirsi Ali and an assortment of infidels, jihadists and spooks also got to share space with Hillary along with David Hicks and his tale of life in Gitmo. Come to think of it maybe I should move that big fat tome next to Don the Con.
It's sort of like sticking pins in voodoo dolls but replacing the dolls with books
The rest of the shelves got devoted to lots of books about science and gardening.
But the strangest thing of all, the simple act of getting started with the sorting unleashed the beady eye of the inner serpent
This time of year is the council rubbish collections known to cheapskate serpents as Vergemart
Around the corner and at the end of the street there appeared one big red book case and a chest of drawers made from real wood. Not the rubbish IKEA flat panel DIY chipboard shit.
Not having a car sort of sucks for occasions like this but did manage to get the cabinet back to the lair drawer by drawer and then finally the main frame itself
It is going to be resurrected as a big fat space for storing books and stuff only of course they will not be so handy and visible like with a proper book case
Unfortunately the red book case got a bit damaged while dragging it along the grass and will need a bit of tweaking and fixing so that it remains stable
Learned the lesson and was lots more careful when bringing the wood cabinet back to the Lair
Until the big red shelves are fixed, the pyramid of unsorted books will remain sitting on the floor of the spare room.
But it is so spooky to think how the inner serpent is on the look out all the time but the Izzie has been too slack and distracted to make the most of its magical powers
PS To honour the real Black Friday, went and signed up for William Perry's new course The Threat of Nuclear Terrorism
His recent online course about The Nuclear Brink was scary and fascinating and it finished well before the results of the 2016 US election. Shit has gotten a whole lot scarier and more real since then
Even scarier is the thought that this ancient serpent likely knows more about nuclear weapons than the present US president. Based solely on these recent courses and an obsession with the topic from 1982 to early 1990s or so.
Including merely knowing what the three legs of the US nuclear triad are which that FM dotard did not know last year during the campaign and most likely has not bothered his ignorant arrogant arse to learn since then.