An Izzie guilt trip

[izmeina]

Just the perfect piccie for this lawyer wannabee

Yesss. Izzie has been busy slinking outside of Cyberia so has not got around to posting about our little speechie last Friday.
The topic was "Members of the jury, have you reached your verdict?"

Did not get the usual two weeks notice but only one day as this was an offer to volunteer since the original person rostered on had to pull out at the last minute due to work commitments.

So, the Izzie took the stand and informed the audience that the trial concerned various charges related to terrorism adding that they should not consider it significant that the accused was not present to defend himself , that his defence lawyer would not be able to question witnesses and that well as a matter of fact he did not even have a defence lawyer. But since he had confessed to all of the various charges, such legal niceties were not really necessary.
So we then went onto the evil green Charge sheet

1 Material Support for a terrorist organization
(300 million of which was generously provided by the Australian Wheat Board)

2 Accomplice to mass murder (The accused was in Washington at the time of the attack on the Pentagon and had publicly spoken shortly afterwards of offering a blank cheque)

3 Dining with and performing transportation and logistical duties for terrorists - during Richard Cheney's recent visit to Australia

4 Experimental human cloning (a remarkable resemblance in appearance to the new Opposition leader being positive proof of this)

5 Infringement of intellectual property rights (in plain English - stealing Pauline's policies)

6 Environmental Terrorism - Izzie offered irrefutable photographic evidence from Friday morning's "Australian" newspaper as proof of this charge where the accused was shown chopping down the very last tree in Tasmania

7 Accessory to people smuggling and selling people to Nauru

and last but not least - the assassination of John F Kennedy

(Izzie made a deliberate decision NEVER to actually name the defendant and constantly referred to him as The Accused but it did not take too long for folks to figure out that it was NOT David Hicks)

We then concluding by directing the jury to take into account the seriousness of all the above charges and their duty to protect the nation from terrorism

This meant that there were three possible verdicts
Guilty
Very Guilty
and Extremely Guilty

Yesss. Was quite happy with our evil efforts and they certainly kept the audience amused. Did get accused of reading too often from the charge sheet - with a resultant loss in voice projection
The critic has been around long enough to have noticed this serpent's wicked twisted ability to put the strangest spin on the most mundane and unpromising of topics

Such a pity we did not get the usual two weeks or so to prepare our case. Would have gotten the wig, gavel and the whole works.