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Izzie and the Avon Lady
22/06/2004 09:06 pmBeen a bad bad day in Izzieland. Firstly - kept waking through the night and looking at the clock which is not much fun when you got to get up at 5.30 so that you can be at work on time for 7am on a wet wintry miserable dull day.
Last night the Iz was a bit peeved. Was so so lovely to come home and have a goblin free evening but not so amusing to see the gate wide open so that all sorts of slinking, slimy and generally undesirable creatures could go snooping and lurking around the Izzie lair. Not impressed at all. But there was no sign of the usual suspect so the Iz just assumed she had been a bit slack closing the gate herself which is an extremely rare occurence but does happen occasionally.
But this morning, Iz found the evidence. Lying on the ground right next to her broomstick was a nasty filthy stinking glitzy AVON brochure. Now that was guaranteed to have the Izzie ears steaming with unadulterated rage.
Many moons ago when these incompetent idiots used to dump this crap on the Izzie doorstep, on at least five occasions when they came to pick up their pathetic little brochures, they did not close the gate properly. The fifth time was the last straw. Iz wrote on the little enclosed note "What time would be most suitable for us to call to pick up your order?" NEVER and a few angry but not obscene words about how they are simply wasting their time and Izzie refuses to do business with people who either haven't got the competence or the manners to close a simple gate or use their damned brains and just put the brochure in the letter box if they are worried about it getting wet.
Also adding that the next time they leave the gate open the brochure would be going in the bin.
Sometimes Iz did simply put the damn thing outside the gate to save them the bother of coming in. It would often get wet or simply blow away which was not nice.Izzie is a green little creature after all and is certainly not a litterbug.
Well. They seemed to get the message and stayed away for several months but these creatures seem to be even more pesky and persistent than Jehovah's Witnesses and infinitely less reasonable. So today in an absolute raging Izzie hissy fit - tore the damned thing into shreds and dumped it outside the gate so they would have any need to stick their filthy fumbling fingers inside the gates of damnation.
But they are just so irredeemably stupid, these Avon idiots, that Iz may have to resort to other means to get the message across. Surely after 24 months or more of not buying a single solitary soap bubble would get it into their thick skulls that Izzie Lair is well worth a miss.
The advent of the Internet totally screwed up those encyclopedia salespeople. Iz wonders just what it would take to cause the extinction of Avon.
Dolores was being her usual sneering self at work today too. Been so so long since I last seen her, almost forgot just how ugly she was. But every time the Iz sees her sucking on her endless supply of coffin nails - evil thoughts fill the Izzie mind - no need for vengeance or wicked thoughts from Izzie - not even the extremely tempting flash of green light. She will just do the damage all by herself in her own time and Izzie will smugly smirk and think to herself "Told you so"
Last Friday two evening staff rang in sick and Di, the lady responsible for replacing them gets one girl to do a double shift and says she will book the agency for the second shift. Dolores asks why she won't use "so and so" but Di knows that this woman's mother is over from Adelaide so she does not want to disturb her. And what about "such and such" No it is his day off and he is entitled to it. Di has the extremely unusual, unorthodox and dangerous belief that staff are human beings and ought to be treated as such. She will only ring up people who have specifically declared themselves available for the time slot or day that she is trying to fill. So what does Dolores do? In order to save a few silver sickles - goes and rings the guy whose day off it is and the silly bugger says that he will come in. That saved them lots of money because agencies are expensive. But do you think she would have the decency to share some of the savings with the staff member who has given up his day off? (and does not get overtime for coming on on the day off)Oh no. Not Dolores. She probably gets a bonus for being such a tightarsed scrooge and buys herself a few more cartons of coffin nails.
So so hard to believe that it is nearly now a whole year since the last big Izzie incident with this slinking creature. But after the nasty comments at the funeral last month, she pushed one Izzie button too many and Iz just has nothing but the utmost contempt for her. Of course, she is the boss and Iz can't be an ignorant rude bitch too just because she is. But beyond being civil, Iz makes very very little effort to avoid the occasional oozing of a certain aura of utter disdain and disgust.
But most of the gossip today concerned a guy from an Agency who was replacing a sick house elf this morning. He works part time agency and part time as a carer in a nursing home which has recently been added to the Portfolio of the Prince of Darkness who owned the place where Iz used to work in the kitchen.
Just like there, these mob are also trying to get all the house elves to sign up as sub-contractors rather than employees based on a whole bunch of lies such as being able to claim their cars, phones and God knows what as tax deductions which as employees they are not entitled to do. But they do neglect to tell them that the tax office has a rather dim view of so called self employed contractors who do more than 80% of their business with one 'client' and that arranging your own workplace insurance can be extremely difficult and expensive.
Lots of elves were not fooled so then they came up with the evil scheme of limiting the number of hours able to be worked by permanent part timers to some ridiculously low level that you could not reasonably live on. That got them all over on the contracts in droves but the smart ones like the guy we had today simply stayed on their old contracts and made up the extra hours doing nursing agency work. That way they have the best of both worlds. High wages from the agency and security from the part time job unlike the poor suckers on contracts who have neither decent pay nor security and could go on unpaid leave (no more sick pay or paid leave entitlelments for self employed contractors of course) to discover that some new 'subcontractor' had submitted a lower tender (ie was prepared to work for less) and they had no job to come back to.
Yesss. Izzie is a Green Goblin wannabee but just hates the whole nasty economic rationalist bean counting culture of treating human beings as objects simply in order to squeeze the last penny out of them.
Last night the Iz was a bit peeved. Was so so lovely to come home and have a goblin free evening but not so amusing to see the gate wide open so that all sorts of slinking, slimy and generally undesirable creatures could go snooping and lurking around the Izzie lair. Not impressed at all. But there was no sign of the usual suspect so the Iz just assumed she had been a bit slack closing the gate herself which is an extremely rare occurence but does happen occasionally.
But this morning, Iz found the evidence. Lying on the ground right next to her broomstick was a nasty filthy stinking glitzy AVON brochure. Now that was guaranteed to have the Izzie ears steaming with unadulterated rage.
Many moons ago when these incompetent idiots used to dump this crap on the Izzie doorstep, on at least five occasions when they came to pick up their pathetic little brochures, they did not close the gate properly. The fifth time was the last straw. Iz wrote on the little enclosed note "What time would be most suitable for us to call to pick up your order?" NEVER and a few angry but not obscene words about how they are simply wasting their time and Izzie refuses to do business with people who either haven't got the competence or the manners to close a simple gate or use their damned brains and just put the brochure in the letter box if they are worried about it getting wet.
Also adding that the next time they leave the gate open the brochure would be going in the bin.
Sometimes Iz did simply put the damn thing outside the gate to save them the bother of coming in. It would often get wet or simply blow away which was not nice.Izzie is a green little creature after all and is certainly not a litterbug.
Well. They seemed to get the message and stayed away for several months but these creatures seem to be even more pesky and persistent than Jehovah's Witnesses and infinitely less reasonable. So today in an absolute raging Izzie hissy fit - tore the damned thing into shreds and dumped it outside the gate so they would have any need to stick their filthy fumbling fingers inside the gates of damnation.
But they are just so irredeemably stupid, these Avon idiots, that Iz may have to resort to other means to get the message across. Surely after 24 months or more of not buying a single solitary soap bubble would get it into their thick skulls that Izzie Lair is well worth a miss.
The advent of the Internet totally screwed up those encyclopedia salespeople. Iz wonders just what it would take to cause the extinction of Avon.
Dolores was being her usual sneering self at work today too. Been so so long since I last seen her, almost forgot just how ugly she was. But every time the Iz sees her sucking on her endless supply of coffin nails - evil thoughts fill the Izzie mind - no need for vengeance or wicked thoughts from Izzie - not even the extremely tempting flash of green light. She will just do the damage all by herself in her own time and Izzie will smugly smirk and think to herself "Told you so"
Last Friday two evening staff rang in sick and Di, the lady responsible for replacing them gets one girl to do a double shift and says she will book the agency for the second shift. Dolores asks why she won't use "so and so" but Di knows that this woman's mother is over from Adelaide so she does not want to disturb her. And what about "such and such" No it is his day off and he is entitled to it. Di has the extremely unusual, unorthodox and dangerous belief that staff are human beings and ought to be treated as such. She will only ring up people who have specifically declared themselves available for the time slot or day that she is trying to fill. So what does Dolores do? In order to save a few silver sickles - goes and rings the guy whose day off it is and the silly bugger says that he will come in. That saved them lots of money because agencies are expensive. But do you think she would have the decency to share some of the savings with the staff member who has given up his day off? (and does not get overtime for coming on on the day off)Oh no. Not Dolores. She probably gets a bonus for being such a tightarsed scrooge and buys herself a few more cartons of coffin nails.
So so hard to believe that it is nearly now a whole year since the last big Izzie incident with this slinking creature. But after the nasty comments at the funeral last month, she pushed one Izzie button too many and Iz just has nothing but the utmost contempt for her. Of course, she is the boss and Iz can't be an ignorant rude bitch too just because she is. But beyond being civil, Iz makes very very little effort to avoid the occasional oozing of a certain aura of utter disdain and disgust.
But most of the gossip today concerned a guy from an Agency who was replacing a sick house elf this morning. He works part time agency and part time as a carer in a nursing home which has recently been added to the Portfolio of the Prince of Darkness who owned the place where Iz used to work in the kitchen.
Just like there, these mob are also trying to get all the house elves to sign up as sub-contractors rather than employees based on a whole bunch of lies such as being able to claim their cars, phones and God knows what as tax deductions which as employees they are not entitled to do. But they do neglect to tell them that the tax office has a rather dim view of so called self employed contractors who do more than 80% of their business with one 'client' and that arranging your own workplace insurance can be extremely difficult and expensive.
Lots of elves were not fooled so then they came up with the evil scheme of limiting the number of hours able to be worked by permanent part timers to some ridiculously low level that you could not reasonably live on. That got them all over on the contracts in droves but the smart ones like the guy we had today simply stayed on their old contracts and made up the extra hours doing nursing agency work. That way they have the best of both worlds. High wages from the agency and security from the part time job unlike the poor suckers on contracts who have neither decent pay nor security and could go on unpaid leave (no more sick pay or paid leave entitlelments for self employed contractors of course) to discover that some new 'subcontractor' had submitted a lower tender (ie was prepared to work for less) and they had no job to come back to.
Yesss. Izzie is a Green Goblin wannabee but just hates the whole nasty economic rationalist bean counting culture of treating human beings as objects simply in order to squeeze the last penny out of them.
