izmeina | Much ado about Nothing

Izzie has been so busy that she never got to tell her serpentine associates about the latest snaky snippets in Dursleyville.
In Izzie's flobberworm days they weren't so big into shrinks and grand pompous titles with the obligatory mention of the word 'Syndrome' or 'Disorder' and the medicalization of everything from alcohol abuse,shyness (Societal Anxiety Disorder) to simple boisterousness or exuberance or just plain badness (ADD) etc or the annoying fact that kids are not neat orderly rational little creatures that can be trained to a timetable. And that is PRECISELY why introverted Izzie doesn't have any.
Maybe it is just as well as Iz would have ended up with the label of 'Autistic' and er... cant' quite remember the psychobabble word for 'wierd'
Izzie was so damn dumb that her little sister got asked by one of the teachers if her big sister had learned to speak yet!(And Iz was a mere 12 years old at the time)
You see Ickle Izzie was absolutely and mortally terrified of speaking in front of anyone except the ma and pa and rest of the family.
The other little monsters very quickly learnt that they could accuse Iz of all sorts of outrageous things and get her punished because she wouldn't defend herself.

But such a dreary dreadful existance as a doormat became tiresome after a while. So Iz decides to do something about it. She actually joined a public speaking group!!!!
For any normal person.. this would be the equivalent of signing up to jump out of a plane without a parachute.
It was about four months before I got rostered on to do my first 3 minute speech.
The first big speech you do as a newbie is always one called 'About me'. That solves the problem of having to worry about knowing your facts and lets you concentrate on the fact that you are shit scared. Even normal people get worried. Iz was having nightmares for three whole weeks (they like to give newbies advance notice) while thinking.. Oh For God's sake don't be so stupid. Are you seriously going to ruin hours and hours of your life worrying about an itsie bitsie 3 minutes.
Well... there was always the option of chickening out and saying no. Some people do this for months and months. But it only makes it harder and harder and Iz had already been doing this for years and years anyway. The time for running away was over.

So Izzie got up feeling squiggly like having just swallowed a can of worms
"In the Begining was the Word. But I was forbidden to speak... "
I was amazed that I remembered it all. It was like being on autopilot. It worked and got a very good review from the critic. Izzie felt not only relieved that it was finally over and went so well but somehow suspected a very powerful spell had been broken and big changes would soon be underway in Izzieland. Izzie had finally got into the driver's seat on the highway of life.
That was way back in February 2000 and no one really believed that this quiet sad squeaky little mouse would stay. Not only did she stay but now they can't shut me up!

Once when it was my turn to give a book review, I started by quoting my favorite saying "There is no good and evil. There is only power......" and holding this most precious possesion up for all to see. But evil Iz had hid her Potter in a cover with the grand title 'Mein Kampf' by you know who. Well it does sound like JUST the sort of thing he would have said. Izzie got herself awarded the Stirrer's spoon for this devious little diversion.

Well.. a couple weeks ago we got ourselves another newbie called Jamie. His 'About me' speech contained numerous quotes from Dostoyevskii, Nietzsche and other dark satanic cynical sort of stuff. Instead of a boring life story he told us what he believed about human nature. The girl two chairs down gives Izzie a smirk and a note asking 'He is one of your evil minions. Isn't he?'
Yes. They are out there. Even in dreary Dursleyville.

Well Thursday just gone there was a joint meeting between 2 clubs, one being ours. Duncan the secretary of our club (And resident Ringfreak) who has given Iz the grand title of 'Reichskanzler (Iz is now the club's treasurer) and always jokes about her 1000 year obsession says "Don't mention the War" Izzie asks ever so innocently 'Which war?' She has hardly finished her sentence when the chairman decides to liven up the meeting with some snippets of POETRY from none other than Donald Rumsfeld. We all just cracked up laughing.
Then it was Jamie's turn to speak... this time a book reading. And would you ever guess what he chose? Our old friend Frederich Nietzsche... and mentioning his influence on esteemed leaders such as Stalin, Adolf Hitler (with the obligatory salute) and Saddam Hussein. Izzie just happens to be rather fond of Nietzsche although she is not as well acquainted with his works as she would like to be. Rather than a nasty little Nazi seems more to Izzie like a most misunderstood disillusioned idealist.
And then by pure coincidence Mysti has a big long juicy post about nihilism on the same day. Well that is when Iz read it anyway.

But it is so wonderful to have a refuge full of like minded people who even though they may be Ringwraiths, evil minions, nihilists or crazy quirky critter like myself, there is an underlying culture of lighting candles instead of cursing the darkness, trying new things, making mistakes but picking yourself up and doing it again. We have even had people go blank in the middle of a speech and run off the stage crying. but they don't disappear in embarrassment and shame but turn up next time and give it another go. The unofficial motto seems to be ... instead of playing the blame game asking oneself 'What can I do to make my life better'
In total contrast to the job I had at the time where pity parties were the fashion. Career and investment planning consisted of buying Lotto tickets on Saturday and everything was some one else's fault. Anyone who tried anything to improve their position in life got dismissed as an uppitty snooty bitch.
While they were all complaining about the awful pay and conditions and how you can't get ahead in such dead end jobs etc etc.. Iz on less income than some of these creatures got herself a house and applied for evening classes in accounting.
Izzie got used to the label of being up herself and the rich bitch.. among other things and would look forward to her Friday 7am meetings with her wierd and wonderful friends where she could recharge her batteries to cope with yet another week with the soul sapping dementors on the job.