The Dementors are delighted...
19/06/2003 09:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
izmeinaThe Dementors in spite of being ever so busy on a mission to Privet Drive, took time on the way to visit Izzie and make an offer that we could not refuse
So instead of posting litigacious and slanderous descriptions of the membership of the Axis of Evil for you to guess and leaving you all puzzled and perplexed and phoning your lawyers...Izzie figures it would be more fun just to offer some demented suggestions to darken your day. Be greedy. You can choose more than one.
1 Come to terms with the undeniable truth that a friend is only an enemy you haven't upset yet.
2 When you ask a woman any question, suggest she checks with her husband before answering.
This is even more productive if you are a woman yourself.
3 If you're enjoying a physical relationship with a new man, give it a few weeks and then tell him you've missed your period. This information is best left on an answering machine.
4 Recognize other people's limitations. Then tell people what they are.
5 Nuture your grievances. If you don't they'll die and then whoever's done you wrong will have got away with it.
6 Always work late. It'll make you feel tired, irritable and exploited. Everyone else in the company will hate you for it. Except your boss who will despise your gullibility
7 Never forget that any initiative that comes from management is really a well-disguised way of getting you to work more for less money
8 It is no coincidence that painting got much better when artists discovered perspective and proportion. So avoid both. They are no help at all to the dedicated disciples of stress
9 Plants are soothing. They make you feel closer to nature. Never have them in the house. Try not to have them in the garden
10 Constantly choose the wrong partner. Always turn to the same friend for support when things go wrong.
11 When reflecting on the many failures in your life, remember how you've done nothing about that novel you've always said you were going to write
12 People with pets live longer. Never get a pet. And encourage your friends' and neighbours' pets to run away
13 Because they can't close their ears, cultivate an annoying voice
14 The only time it is permissible to laugh is when you encounter the misfortune of others. But you can only laugh in their presence
15 Get in touch with the child within you. Not the one who sees the world with eyes filled with wonder, but the one who sulks, whinges and constantly demands attention. Introduce this child to those around you
(These and more equally evil suggestions are to be found in "The little book of stress" by one of our very own - Rohan Candappa. Required reading for all dedicated Dementors)
So instead of posting litigacious and slanderous descriptions of the membership of the Axis of Evil for you to guess and leaving you all puzzled and perplexed and phoning your lawyers...Izzie figures it would be more fun just to offer some demented suggestions to darken your day. Be greedy. You can choose more than one.
1 Come to terms with the undeniable truth that a friend is only an enemy you haven't upset yet.
2 When you ask a woman any question, suggest she checks with her husband before answering.
This is even more productive if you are a woman yourself.
3 If you're enjoying a physical relationship with a new man, give it a few weeks and then tell him you've missed your period. This information is best left on an answering machine.
4 Recognize other people's limitations. Then tell people what they are.
5 Nuture your grievances. If you don't they'll die and then whoever's done you wrong will have got away with it.
6 Always work late. It'll make you feel tired, irritable and exploited. Everyone else in the company will hate you for it. Except your boss who will despise your gullibility
7 Never forget that any initiative that comes from management is really a well-disguised way of getting you to work more for less money
8 It is no coincidence that painting got much better when artists discovered perspective and proportion. So avoid both. They are no help at all to the dedicated disciples of stress
9 Plants are soothing. They make you feel closer to nature. Never have them in the house. Try not to have them in the garden
10 Constantly choose the wrong partner. Always turn to the same friend for support when things go wrong.
11 When reflecting on the many failures in your life, remember how you've done nothing about that novel you've always said you were going to write
12 People with pets live longer. Never get a pet. And encourage your friends' and neighbours' pets to run away
13 Because they can't close their ears, cultivate an annoying voice
14 The only time it is permissible to laugh is when you encounter the misfortune of others. But you can only laugh in their presence
15 Get in touch with the child within you. Not the one who sees the world with eyes filled with wonder, but the one who sulks, whinges and constantly demands attention. Introduce this child to those around you
(These and more equally evil suggestions are to be found in "The little book of stress" by one of our very own - Rohan Candappa. Required reading for all dedicated Dementors)
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 09:16 am (UTC)Re: LOL!!!!!
Date: 2003-06-19 08:18 pm (UTC)Oh and never forget "Worrying is meditation for realists"