Peeves the Poltergeist
29/11/2003 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
izmeinaImpossible to believe but true that not only are their oodles of interesting creatures out there weirder than me, but I've actually met some of them.
One particular specimen, I had the misfortune of meeting two years ago. It was some time at the end of 2001 but not quite sure when. Probably September 2001. She was the latest addition to the crew of house elves in the St Salazars' kitchens.
First impressions - a ditzy clumsy klutz with a penchant for pity parties. As she would tell anyone who'd listen for more than two minutes, she had recently been through a very nasty divorce from a horrid husband and was willing to stoop to house elf work to get back on her feet.
Izzie's intuition had become dormant from years of ignorance and abuse (Dursleys are very dismissive of such strange and mysterious and most unscientific irrational nonsense) but soon started sending flashing lights of warning.
"Have nothing to do whatsoever with this woman. She is dangerous and nothing good can possibly come of it"
Izzie thinks - oh don't be so horrid, suspicious and nasty. She is probably simply upset and still getting over that divorce.
Izzie is not the sort of house elf who gets out the red carpet and blows the trumpet for the new elf on the block but at the same time treats them civilly and cautiously, minds her own business, watches and waits.
Two years previously, I had fallen out with one of the two cooks who in the meantime had acquired herself a new sidekick and the pair of them had utterly ingratiated themselves with the new Matron who considered them to be simply indispensible in spite of the fact that they were the greatest source of gossip and bullying in the nursing home.
In fact, between them they had got rid of at least four house elves and Izzie had the distinction of being the only one not to have succumbed to their charms. Izzie had plenty of previous experience of being the target of all sorts of unforgiveable curses infinitely worse than what these two had to offer.(and I've even got the scars to prove it! ;))
Well, it was not too long before they had Darlene in their sights and not too long after that that she started to be nicer and nicer to ickle Izzie. In fact, she seemed to be going out of her way to try make friends with me.
She was still waltzing around the kitchen like a bull in a china shop, dropping knives, forks, plates whatever. The ickle voice of intuition says "Warning. Poltergeist on the loose" The Dursleyish voice of reason says "She's just stressed out from being bullied by those two bitches" and even more insidiously "The enemy of your enemy is your friend" I guess that is what she was thinking too.
She invited me to her house a couple of times and I accepted. She spent so much time bitching about those two as did Iz of course. At least we had one thing in common. I told her about what had happened to their previous victims and how the worst thing of all is thatthey are so damn good at it that everyone else seemed to think the pair of them were absolute angels who would not hurt a flea.
It was then time for Izzie to return the compliment. Like me, she collected teddy bears (but Izzie is infinitely more fussy about which bears lurk in her lair)and drooled over the Izzie collection. They have their very own bed room.
I also showed her the Izzie garden of not so arcane delights and the prize possessions. The Izzie painted eggs that I brought from Durmieland. I had painted at least 60 of these - most of which were given to my fairy Godparents and I kept about 24 of them and managed to get them half way across the planet in one piece.
Well - Darlene picked up the largest and one of the prettiest of all. It was black and painted with silver, white, copper and gold spirals, circle and imaginary plants of all sorts. And surprise surprise. She did not drop it but held it so tight that she broke it. Iz was ever so peeved but could not really show it. (The inner monsters were whispering.... "We told you so")
We went out to a cafe that day and she kept looking around as if Lady Voldemort and her mates had spies out and about and even said not to talk too loud in case 'you know who's friends might be listening.
One would think that the Dursley bit of Izzie would finally be put in its box when she started telling me about a woman at a previous job who dressed like her and imitated her voice and everything and was basically trying to steal her identity!
The inner creatures were getting mightily pissed off by this stage and calling for drastic action.
One day we arranged to meet at 6pm at a certain cafe. That was Thursday 29 November. Iz still did not quite suspect anything at this stage. But I had finished the first Potter book that very day and had found the perfect name for her (or so I thought) She was now unofficially Peeves the Poltergeist.
Iz got home from work and checked the phone call return to see if she had rung to make any change in plans (Izzie does not have a mobile phone)There was nothing. So far so good. All there is to do now is have a shower, get dressed to go out and bring the second Potter book to read on the bus (Such lack of respect - yessss...Izzie did not know then what she knows now.)
So Izzie is waiting at this cafe at 5.30pm with her copy of the Preciousssss and still unsuspecting. By 6.30 was getting a bit annoyed though. Where is this bitch? She said she was coming. One thing that Iz hates is Flakiness. Well bugger her Iz thinks. At ten minutes to seven I am going to walk over to the beach to watch the sunset and catch up with the latest gossip in the Chamber of Secrets.
The sunset was absolutely gorgeous but soon got eclipsed by a sudden Izzie queaziness. Within 30 mins felt utterly nauseous and certainly incapable of reading, let alone coffee drinking or shopping.
Managed to get to the train and make the 30 min trip to the city while retaining possession of the contents of my stomach. Apparently I looked as white as a ghost and people kept asking if I was OK or not. Then the next hurdle was a twenty minute bus ride to the lair. Was sure I was going to be sick but still managed to hold on. All this time as well as feeling damn bloody awful, the curiousity was killing me about what was happening next in Potterland but there was no way I could ever risk trying to find out. Firstly it was a library book and secondly, reading on a bus is totally tempting fate.
Well - ten minutes later the Izzie nest looked like the lair of ten werewolves having a pavement pizza party. (And smelt even worse)
Anyway - back at work on Sunday. The story was that Darlene's uncle was rushed to hospital and she tried to ring at 4.30 but Iz was not at home (Iz had checked call return the following day and there was none at all) but she would ring again Sunday evening about 10pm since I worked until 9pm on Sundays at my second job
Silly Iz - still giving second chances, went straight home from work instead of spending 30 mins in the park watching the full moon. I guess it's what you call wishful thinking.
A few weeks later was more of the same. She promised to call around to my place after work and we'd then go for a picnic to the beach and again she never turned up. When I questioned her at work she denied it and said she meant phone - not drop by. I says - now since when do people write phone calls in their diaries. But by then Iz had had enough of her and her pathetic excuses. Izzie hates flakiness and the policy is "Three strikes and you are out"
People who make promises and don't keep them or even worse - made them without ever intending to keep them are way way up in the Izzie hate list. Where there is no trust and respect - there can be no real friendship -so thinks Izzie anyway.
Well. Most amusing to see that three weeks later, this bitch is suddenly cavorting with She who must not be named and her lackies and no doubt told them every single bitchy thing that Iz said about the pair of them. It was so sick and pathetic to see. See - she also knew too that that was one of the reasons I stopped being friends with that other woman was because she too had indulged in the annoying practice of not keeping her word so she knew exactly what to do to annoy the hell out of Iz.(Izzie was so soft, had so little self esteem and so desperate for friends that she let the previous one do this on at least five occasions and kept making excuses for her and putting up with it)
So in the Izzie memories, Peeves the Poltergeist got promoted with the brand new and even more suitable title of Wormtail. Treacherous scheming little rat that she was. And Iz who at first believed that the vomiting and stuff she had that day two years ago was simply a bug going round, is now inclined to believe that it was a last ditch effort by the inner creatures to get Izzie see reason and get rid of the toxic sludge she was associating herself with.
Soon they were to put on a more dramatic and infinitely more pleasant performance and ever since then they have been assured of first place in the pecking order when it comes to seeking opinions about any issue on which they care to comment.
And life is so much better for it too.
The mind works in mysterious ways and it took Iz so so long to find out and I had to do it the hard way. And I sometimes wonder how much longer it would have taken without all that help from the Potter boy (And Professor Lupin in particular)
One particular specimen, I had the misfortune of meeting two years ago. It was some time at the end of 2001 but not quite sure when. Probably September 2001. She was the latest addition to the crew of house elves in the St Salazars' kitchens.
First impressions - a ditzy clumsy klutz with a penchant for pity parties. As she would tell anyone who'd listen for more than two minutes, she had recently been through a very nasty divorce from a horrid husband and was willing to stoop to house elf work to get back on her feet.
Izzie's intuition had become dormant from years of ignorance and abuse (Dursleys are very dismissive of such strange and mysterious and most unscientific irrational nonsense) but soon started sending flashing lights of warning.
"Have nothing to do whatsoever with this woman. She is dangerous and nothing good can possibly come of it"
Izzie thinks - oh don't be so horrid, suspicious and nasty. She is probably simply upset and still getting over that divorce.
Izzie is not the sort of house elf who gets out the red carpet and blows the trumpet for the new elf on the block but at the same time treats them civilly and cautiously, minds her own business, watches and waits.
Two years previously, I had fallen out with one of the two cooks who in the meantime had acquired herself a new sidekick and the pair of them had utterly ingratiated themselves with the new Matron who considered them to be simply indispensible in spite of the fact that they were the greatest source of gossip and bullying in the nursing home.
In fact, between them they had got rid of at least four house elves and Izzie had the distinction of being the only one not to have succumbed to their charms. Izzie had plenty of previous experience of being the target of all sorts of unforgiveable curses infinitely worse than what these two had to offer.(and I've even got the scars to prove it! ;))
Well, it was not too long before they had Darlene in their sights and not too long after that that she started to be nicer and nicer to ickle Izzie. In fact, she seemed to be going out of her way to try make friends with me.
She was still waltzing around the kitchen like a bull in a china shop, dropping knives, forks, plates whatever. The ickle voice of intuition says "Warning. Poltergeist on the loose" The Dursleyish voice of reason says "She's just stressed out from being bullied by those two bitches" and even more insidiously "The enemy of your enemy is your friend" I guess that is what she was thinking too.
She invited me to her house a couple of times and I accepted. She spent so much time bitching about those two as did Iz of course. At least we had one thing in common. I told her about what had happened to their previous victims and how the worst thing of all is thatthey are so damn good at it that everyone else seemed to think the pair of them were absolute angels who would not hurt a flea.
It was then time for Izzie to return the compliment. Like me, she collected teddy bears (but Izzie is infinitely more fussy about which bears lurk in her lair)and drooled over the Izzie collection. They have their very own bed room.
I also showed her the Izzie garden of not so arcane delights and the prize possessions. The Izzie painted eggs that I brought from Durmieland. I had painted at least 60 of these - most of which were given to my fairy Godparents and I kept about 24 of them and managed to get them half way across the planet in one piece.
Well - Darlene picked up the largest and one of the prettiest of all. It was black and painted with silver, white, copper and gold spirals, circle and imaginary plants of all sorts. And surprise surprise. She did not drop it but held it so tight that she broke it. Iz was ever so peeved but could not really show it. (The inner monsters were whispering.... "We told you so")
We went out to a cafe that day and she kept looking around as if Lady Voldemort and her mates had spies out and about and even said not to talk too loud in case 'you know who's friends might be listening.
One would think that the Dursley bit of Izzie would finally be put in its box when she started telling me about a woman at a previous job who dressed like her and imitated her voice and everything and was basically trying to steal her identity!
The inner creatures were getting mightily pissed off by this stage and calling for drastic action.
One day we arranged to meet at 6pm at a certain cafe. That was Thursday 29 November. Iz still did not quite suspect anything at this stage. But I had finished the first Potter book that very day and had found the perfect name for her (or so I thought) She was now unofficially Peeves the Poltergeist.
Iz got home from work and checked the phone call return to see if she had rung to make any change in plans (Izzie does not have a mobile phone)There was nothing. So far so good. All there is to do now is have a shower, get dressed to go out and bring the second Potter book to read on the bus (Such lack of respect - yessss...Izzie did not know then what she knows now.)
So Izzie is waiting at this cafe at 5.30pm with her copy of the Preciousssss and still unsuspecting. By 6.30 was getting a bit annoyed though. Where is this bitch? She said she was coming. One thing that Iz hates is Flakiness. Well bugger her Iz thinks. At ten minutes to seven I am going to walk over to the beach to watch the sunset and catch up with the latest gossip in the Chamber of Secrets.
The sunset was absolutely gorgeous but soon got eclipsed by a sudden Izzie queaziness. Within 30 mins felt utterly nauseous and certainly incapable of reading, let alone coffee drinking or shopping.
Managed to get to the train and make the 30 min trip to the city while retaining possession of the contents of my stomach. Apparently I looked as white as a ghost and people kept asking if I was OK or not. Then the next hurdle was a twenty minute bus ride to the lair. Was sure I was going to be sick but still managed to hold on. All this time as well as feeling damn bloody awful, the curiousity was killing me about what was happening next in Potterland but there was no way I could ever risk trying to find out. Firstly it was a library book and secondly, reading on a bus is totally tempting fate.
Well - ten minutes later the Izzie nest looked like the lair of ten werewolves having a pavement pizza party. (And smelt even worse)
Anyway - back at work on Sunday. The story was that Darlene's uncle was rushed to hospital and she tried to ring at 4.30 but Iz was not at home (Iz had checked call return the following day and there was none at all) but she would ring again Sunday evening about 10pm since I worked until 9pm on Sundays at my second job
Silly Iz - still giving second chances, went straight home from work instead of spending 30 mins in the park watching the full moon. I guess it's what you call wishful thinking.
A few weeks later was more of the same. She promised to call around to my place after work and we'd then go for a picnic to the beach and again she never turned up. When I questioned her at work she denied it and said she meant phone - not drop by. I says - now since when do people write phone calls in their diaries. But by then Iz had had enough of her and her pathetic excuses. Izzie hates flakiness and the policy is "Three strikes and you are out"
People who make promises and don't keep them or even worse - made them without ever intending to keep them are way way up in the Izzie hate list. Where there is no trust and respect - there can be no real friendship -so thinks Izzie anyway.
Well. Most amusing to see that three weeks later, this bitch is suddenly cavorting with She who must not be named and her lackies and no doubt told them every single bitchy thing that Iz said about the pair of them. It was so sick and pathetic to see. See - she also knew too that that was one of the reasons I stopped being friends with that other woman was because she too had indulged in the annoying practice of not keeping her word so she knew exactly what to do to annoy the hell out of Iz.(Izzie was so soft, had so little self esteem and so desperate for friends that she let the previous one do this on at least five occasions and kept making excuses for her and putting up with it)
So in the Izzie memories, Peeves the Poltergeist got promoted with the brand new and even more suitable title of Wormtail. Treacherous scheming little rat that she was. And Iz who at first believed that the vomiting and stuff she had that day two years ago was simply a bug going round, is now inclined to believe that it was a last ditch effort by the inner creatures to get Izzie see reason and get rid of the toxic sludge she was associating herself with.
Soon they were to put on a more dramatic and infinitely more pleasant performance and ever since then they have been assured of first place in the pecking order when it comes to seeking opinions about any issue on which they care to comment.
And life is so much better for it too.
The mind works in mysterious ways and it took Iz so so long to find out and I had to do it the hard way. And I sometimes wonder how much longer it would have taken without all that help from the Potter boy (And Professor Lupin in particular)
