The Lair of the Emerald Serpent

It looks like spring has finally arrived in Dursleyville. It was a crisp and crunchy gorgeous day. Was off slinking at the former lunatic asylum indulging in a bit of nostalgia. But 2002 is dead and gone and even if this year happens to share the same calendar dates, that is about all it has in common. No amount of wishful thinking will bring it back.

Today is significant for less nostalgic reasons. It is exactly a year since the serpent last worked at a paid job. Still not quite gotten over the whole toadish drama.
For the last month managed to pick up one day a week in a voluntary job and will most likely ask to add another day or two some time this month. Oh yesss. People are very happy to have some one working for nothing

Still not got around to posting about the new 'day job'. It's not like the Izzie is so terribly busy even though the third time round doing that evil Introduction to Mathematical Thinking" course is once again proving to be a welcome source of distraction. The discussion forums are particularly addictive.

It's strange. Had also signed up for another course on maths and philosophy. The ideas were interesting in themselves but the lectures were just so plodding and pedantic. Gave up watching them once the third instalment of Keith Devlin's class started up again.

Did potter over last night to do the final exam for the mathematical philosophy class where you get five attempts of four hours each to answer 24 multiple choice questions. They are supposed to vary between each version. There were several questions with only two choices. About half of the others required a bit of serious thought. Got 20/24 on the first attempt and 22/24 on the second. A very good return considering the lack of investment but this was precisely the problem.

I've made it a bit of a challenge to game the system on some of the courses. Of course each time you do the tests you inadvertently learn stuff. One tutor let you repeat them 15 times with this very purpose in mind. But then again he set the pass mark at 85%. But one would expect nothing less from the devious evil genius that is Dan Ariely.

It is an art form developing assessments that reflect real learning rather than the ability to just use common sense or simply game the system. It's precisely the fact that it is quite hard to do well on the graded stuff in Keith Devlin's class that makes it so interesting. Got 47% first time around and 69% the second time back in April. Determined to get at least 75% this time. But it's joining the dots and the light bulb moments that are the real attraction. Oh and of course the drama on the discussion boards.

Sitting at a cafe scribbling out the weekly assignments is actually amongst the highlights of the week. Those old grey cells well and truly need the workout and it makes a change from the usual Sudoku.
Even the poor zombies are coming off second best these days. That will have to change now that November is less than one month away and the Nano forums are all bright, shiny and new. They are looking very spacious indeed in their new incarnation

Such are the joys of getting old. Aside from young things offering the seniors discount, you know you are getting a bit long in the tooth if you are one of those folks who can remember the ascension to power of a certain person who came to be known as The Iron Lady
Had so so forgotten about her fondness for quoting a certain Francis of Assisi. Here’s hoping that the present incumbent at the Vatican does not follow her example.

Spent most of her reign living right next door in Ireland so it was rather hard to escape the trajectory of that swinging handbag and the icy cold stare. We watched the goggle box transfixed for week after week during the Wapping dramas, the coal miners’ strike, the IRA hunger strikes and later assassination attempt, the Falklands war and the crowning glory of all - the privatization of just about everything and the dawn of the new age of Goblin Bankers who under her reign began their ascent to their role as Masters of the Universe

Got to thinking that while the present opposition leader in Oz describes himself as the political love child of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop, John Howard in turn could be described as the ideological love child of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher. And like her he kept the top job for some eleven years. But at least she was more entertaining. Love her or loathe her, one could never accuse her of being spineless, wimpish or boring
Many younger people spent their formative teenage years knowing nothing else but this Priestess of the Ayn Rand cult

While loathing and despising her political incarnation, used to relish the weekly fix of the satirical puppet show “Spitting Image” where she was the number one centre stage celebrity. Even managed to snaffle a pair of Ronnie and Maggie squeaky toys for the Dursley’s dogs to play with

( Spooks, Goblins and Zombies )

Every year the local university has what they call Orientation Day. This is organized by the student union and is basically a feast of freebies where stall holders representing various businesses, political parties and student clubs and societies try to get students to sign up for their ever so worthy cause.
There will also be entertainment such as music and sausage sizzles. This time featured a pizza eating competition. So that kind of crass consumerism is still alive and well
Had been a student there back at the start of the century but was working at the time so rarely managed to turn up any time before 2pm. And then for some inexplicable reason would often get landed with a 3pm shift on that particular day so there was no point in even turning up at all if the mission was to snaffle freebies

( Scrooge serpent on the scrounge )

New Year’s Eve was as hot as hell and the mercury had even passed the dreaded 40. But it was a dry heat and it was reasonably comfortable sitting outside in the shade. The sky was a nice clear blue with a handful of wispy clouds. So at least it would cool down quickly around sunset. How silly of Izzie to think so

By 4pm had landed at Napoleon Street en route to the beach for the last sunset of the year. It was still hot but had become all cloudy. The air was heavy like just before a storm and it seemed most likely that there would be no sunset or rather not one visible to mere mortals
It was much too muggy to sit outside the one cafe that had not closed. So sat inside and sipped tea and ridiculous quantities of water.

While going to the table where all the newspapers were came across a little blue card with a picture of a crystal clear blue sandy beach and the intriguing title “Summer at Dharmapala Buddhist Centre”

On the back was a list of courses and classes. Nearly had fits of hysterical giggling when reading the title of the first one

Cool Down

We all get irritated and annoyed but there are simple methods we can apply that will mean that no matter what difficulties we face we remain calm

( Angry ants and Monkey minds )

Today was party time in Izzieland. We saw the welcome return to civilized weather. Sunny but crisp and crunchy and a respectable maximum temperature of 27 celsius forecast and delivered
All the weeds are looking happy, lush and green. It was such a relief not needing to water them after last night’s rain
It was time for celebration. Got all snaked up and wore a most special emerald green hat for a visit to the old lurking grounds of a certain old lunatic asylum in Fremantle. It would be a day spent ruminating, plotting, planning and doing a whole pile of squiggly stuff that should have been done yesterday.

The rituals would begin with a detour to Buratti art gallery which presently has an exhibition of Aleister Crowley paintings and other esoteric art work.
Visited this place for the solstice only to find that it was closed over Christmas and would not reopen until Wednesday 2nd January 2013. So instead of gawking at assorted beastly art works had to make do with second best - a certain deck of cards.
But the lure of Wednesday 2nd being the very first opening day of the new year, I figured it was just too auspicious to resist. After all this is a day that has been devoted to matters concerning the invisible worlds for the last eleven years and that would be just the perfect entree before the main course in the Garden of Insane Delights

( The map is not the territory )

Izzie must be a most mad and masochistic creature. Not sufficient to be engaged in a battle with a toxic toad, the serpent refused to abandon her Camp Nano plans to devote resources to the war of words at work. On the one hand it was rather draining but on the other the determination to continue was a way to stop her meddling in sacred territory. To chicken out would have been to let her win. She had to make do with second best by taking over half of the 54,000 word count.

But there’s more. This serpent is a glutton for punishment. A certain cat introduced Izzie to a feast of freebies in what can only be described as Hogwarts for wannabee geek and freaks. No magical ability whatsoever is required just the desire to learn stuff for the sake of it.
Still not quite worked out the business model of this most marvelous Magical Academy

This is no fluffy bunny new age stuff but seems to be proper courses with real homework and very well structured lesson and course materials.

Managed not to be too greedy and signed up for only four courses. But one just happened to start during the last week of Camp Nano

Lazy Izzie figures that it should be no problem at all to slack off until Monday 3rd September and then do a big catch up. Skimmed through the slides and pdf files and was surprised to discover how much of it seemed to be indecipherable gibberish that made sense only to geeks or geniuses. Turned out that the lecturer’s spoken comments on the course videos were the key to decoding all those creepy mathematical magical formulae.

( The Dinosaur Code )

In the meantime, there’s lectures to watch and puzzles to solve. Still waiting for the Eureka moment where all the pieces of the jigsaw finally fall into place
It is so so true what a certain Cat has observed. The very fact that some new stuff to be learned is ‘insanely challenging’ is precisely what makes the end reward so great if one can persevere and finally put two and two together.

And it's not like Izzie will ever use this stuff. It is maybe a harmless way of harnessing the hunting and hoarding instinct.

*slinks off to sign up for more hairy scary courses^

Had an ever so lazy day this morning slinking about in the Lair, soaking up the sunshine and meeting an old friend from the mad house that is the day job. Sybil was one of the wiser rats who got out of the sinking ship sooner rather than later.

She is ever so amused and disgusted by the latest dramas there. But that is a story for another time and place. Later the Izzie returned to the Lair and decided to spend a few hours snoozing outside in the sunshine and watching the rainbow lorikeets raiding the eucalyptus flowers.
It was also good to see that the Tuscan kale planted some three weeks ago has finally decided to sprout. They are now onto their first set of real leaves and within three weeks should be feasting on the green goodness. Some we will let go to seed and save them for next year.

The original plan was to slink into the city around 4pm for a coffee crawl and to take a peek at the new Winter Festival at the town hall. The first time was the last Friday of June. Was feeling a bit tired and claustrophobic so just could not get into the right mood.

Lingered a bit longer in the lair soaking up the last rays of sunshine before catching a bus to the city just before 5pm. Paid a visit to the latest Nanowrimo cafe. This time no cards and no brainstorming simply coffee and the daily paper. Wanted to get the daily fix of the letters page and cartoon, the weekly gardening features and the latest drama from the murder trial of the decade.

Stayed rather longer than intended and ended up with only 30 minutes until the official ending of the winter festival. Silly really since it is only once a month and the cafe is open six days a week.

Was still somewhat agitated but nowhere as bad as last time. The most striking thing apart from the dark sky and crisp cold evening was the heavenly aromas drifting around the town hall. Aside from the MacDonalds and assorted monstrous carbuncles lining the other side of Hay Street it would be very easy to believe that this was Nuremburg, Berlin, Buxtehude or a hundred little towns or cities anywhere in Germany. There was hot chocolate, truffles, bratwurst and gluhwein and even the wood fired baker with offerings of Gugelhopf, assorted baguettes, pies and organic sour dough bread was also German. There were also Brazilian Churros - sort of sickly sweet doughnuts filled with caramel or chocolate, crepes and Moroccan dips and delicious tomato sauce and egg offerings with sausages tossed in for an extra three silver sickles.

Resisted the temptation to indulge which was not too difficult as most of the stalls were packing up by that time but it was nice to linger and inhale the intoxicating fragrances. Quite astonishing how the smell of mulled wine and sizzling sausages and onions could conjure up places and memories from half way around the world and more than twenty years ago in time.

( Winterland in Oz )

Izzie does not like February. Not sure if there is a connection to the 29th of this month being one of the serpent special sacred days or simply because it is such a quirky and unusual day. There is just not that many of them. ;)

But 28 years ago a seemingly insignificant event gave it a special symbolic meaning and today was an opportunity to indulge in all sorts of assorted rituals
February in this bit of Oz is traditionally the most sizzling and stinking hot of months so it is off to a bad start. Then there was the business of leaving the Izzie Aussie homeland as a 14 year old flobberworm to live in the bogs of the wild west of Ireland. That induced a serious case of homesickness and a sense of futility and lack of control over the things that really mattered. That too was in February (1980)

Cannot quite remember what there was for a 19 year old flobberworm to get all miserable about. It was the year for the leaving certificate. The move to Ireland and their school year starting in September meant being 9 months behind schedule. Was not able to jump a year due to the pesky business of the Irish equivalent of Hogwarts OWLs
Maybe it was a delayed onset of the usual teenage emo angst. Having “Hamlet” on the English syllabus certainly did not help. The Germans as usual have a word for it “Weltschmerz” something along the lines of the world is going to hell in a hand basket, woe is me” or “Stop the world, I want to get off” That was a big thing from the 1950s to late 1980s when the possibility of the planet being nuked back to the stone age was almost seen as inevitable

Music and books were two favorite sources of escape. In those days music was mainly in the form of cassettes and vinyl. They were ridiculously expensive to buy and cheap creatures on limited income like yours truly were limited to taping stuff from the radio.

Some time in early 1984 the serpent ears were blown away by a most spine tingling and spooky song which used to be on one of the indie artist music shows on RTE radio. Back in those days they were just as bad as giving information about names of songs and artists as they are now but there was no Google to check the song title and artist or Youtube so that you could get a fix any time you liked. Did find out that it was a mob called “This Mortal Coil” and the title was “Song to the Siren”



It was written by Tim Buckley who was the father of the ubergorgeous Jeff Buckley and both of them came to an untimely demise in the vicinity of water. Coincidence? Izzie does not think so.
Was then on the prowl to snatch this spooky tune for posterity. It was the Wednesday evening of 29th February 1984 that the little red cassette button finally captured the wailing banshee blood curdling voice of Elizabeth Fraser. It became the light at the end of the long miserable tunnel of February and a beacon of hope of better things to come.

If only the Izzie knew at the time that particular February was a picnic compared to what some future years had in store. It is never really possible to know how much of it was a subconscious self fulfilling prophecy but remembers like it was only recently waking up one cold Saturday morning in 1986 feeling all gloomy and doomy and about to pull the covers over and sleep the day away. Then suddenly realized that it was no longer February but the first day of March. The instant charge of energy and enthusiasm was truly scary and of course completely irrational. The mind is a truly strange beast. A tiny change of perspective can make such a big difference.

It was the same tape we chose to play on the evening of Friday 31st December 1999 while watching the last sunset of the year and the millennium (for those folks who aren’t pedantic calendar nazis)
So what better way to commemorate the day than to spend sunset at Cottesloe beach? Especially as the annual Sculpture by the Sea exhibition officially starts tomorrow and most of the works are already there or just need a bit of tweeking

It was a gorgeous sunny and breezy day. Much milder than this time last year and perfect lurking weather for an evening at the beach. The sculptures were an added bonus.
Never did download a copy of the song from itunes as it is there for the listening on Youtube with lots of spooky gothic pictures

After the nasty start to 2012 with the chainsaw massacre at the Lair and the attempt at a reply with the advent of the Chinese Year of the Dragon bringing in seven days of sizzling stinking weather with three in a row at 42 celsius, the last day of February was just the excuse for a sort of New Year’s Eve celebration and bright shiny new beginning for 1st March.
The next time this date falls on a Wednesday will be in 2040 when Izzie will be a shrivelled up old serpent if not already departed from this mortal coil

For the first time in many moons, the serpent visited the annual Orientation Day feast of freebies at the local university. Used to invariably end up with shifts finishing at 3pm on Wednesdays in February meaning that all the events would be over by then. Then sort of lost track and always managed to turn up a week late. Finally made it today. Such an overdose of nostalgia. It would have been nice to return to the lair, scrub the scales and remove all traces of work but by then most of it would be all over. So the best that could be done was a change of clothes. Could not possibly be caught out on the street wearing the pale green rags of house elf enslavement with that appalling logo that gets larger with each new edition of the uniform

( The Old Lurking Grounds and some gorgeous critters )

The unexpected highlight of the day was the seriously strange sculpture exhibition held there as part of the annual arts festival.
The promo poster had an image of what looked like a spider’s web but it was like putting up pictures of bottles of Rawsons Retreat reds and then offering Grange Hermitage on arrival
The artist is a Korean called U Ram Choe. He gives most of his sculptures obscure and intriguing Latin names and they are the sort of critters who would feel right at home in Professor Sprout’s Greenhouse 3 or Hagrid’s “Care of Magical Creatures’ classes
They are all made of metal and assorted electronic bits but their movement makes them look seriously lifelike.
From the strange salamander like slinking things found in subways to the rampaging critters evolved from jet propellors and looking like a cross between a shark and giant squid (often to be found lurking in the environs of abandoned aircraft hangars) to the chandeliers that flutter like butterflies and bats, the wheels within wheels clockwork Chakra 2 and the spooky venus fly trap like flowers, the whole show was spooky and hypnotic.

The metalwork was curly and swirly with lots of spirals and filigree. It was seriously elegant and exquisite and like steampunk on steroids
Was so so glad to have taken a peek. Will be visiting a few more times before it finishes on Friday 2nd March and hopefully feeling rather more artistic and inspired. Will definitely be bringing along that infernal phone camera and a note book to do lots of squiggles
Managed to snaffle two very stunning A4 brochures with gorgeous detailed colour photographs of some of the most amazing creations. Well worth not one but two gold coin donations
Was there nearly 90 minutes which was much much longer than expected. Already looking forward to the next visit. Must go googling this guy. If he was from the USA he probably would be a household name. Such a seamless marriage between art and technology has to be seen to be believed. His creations make Patricia Piccinini’s mutant monster sculptures look positively zombielike in comparison. Movement is everything.



Tomorrow will be more culture vulture stuff including a peek at the writers’ festival and an attempt to get tickets for Henry V which looks most promising indeed
But tonight will be just a bit of a catch up on squiggling and snippets in Cyberia

Due to the evil goblins chopping our holidays, Izzie missed out on observing two most favorite rituals - New Year’s Eve sunset at Cottesloe Beach and the New Year’s Night fireworks by the river. So was going to make sure that at least the serpent tenth birthday did not go unmarked. There was the pesky problem of the public holiday meaning that watching the sunset from anywhere but the Lair would mean being stranded as most buses have their bed time at the ridiculous hour of 8pm
Figured it would also mean that the arts centre would be crowded as it was the last time 2nd January was on a Monday back in 2006. That was a disgustingly hot and muggy day with intermittent sea breezes

But unlike then, did not have a week’s holiday so had the whole public holiday bus schedule to contend with after work and then pottering off for the afternoon adventures
Keeping the New Year’s resolution in mind of first checking out available resources rather than running off to the shops to get stuff, put a little picnic together of bread, crackers, cheese and the remaining half of the bottle of wine from the pretend new year’s eve picnic at the beach on Friday.

So got the bus to the Lair after work, scrubbed the scales, packed the picnic and pottered off to catch the 2.15 bus. One bus later got to the lunatic asylum just after 3pm.
Got to the gates and noticed that not only were they closed but there was a big fat chain and padlock wrapped around them. Izzie was most peeved indeed. Had been looking forward to this day for a good few weeks and had not expected a twist like this

Right next to the gate is a big black and white centre proclaiming “Fremantle Arts Centre - open 10am-5pm 7 days a week”. And in smaller print - closed Good Friday, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year’s Day

There was no notice whatsoever on the gate proclaiming why the place was closed. So decides to take a peek up at the vehicle entry gate which was open.
Sat in the gorgeous grounds under the plane trees but an inner voice whispered that these beasties are not to be trusted and would be better off sitting up the top end in view of the gate in case the little freaks decided to lock the place up.

Sure enough, hardly five minutes sitting there and some slimy security guard sorts comes up and says that the Izzie needs to get out as he will be locking the place soon.
He knew nothing at all about why the place was closed and was ‘just following orders’
So that was the end of an afternoon of squiggling, reading and nibbling on cheese and sipping red wine. Dragged our little picnic all this way for nothing and ended up having it back in the lair around sunset

Did visit two cafes instead but none with the magical atmosphere and nostalgic associations. Turned out half the cafes were closing early and charging 10-15% public holiday surcharges
So there was no point in lingering. Could not even stay for the sunset due to the limited bus services on public holidays so just left around 6pm and was back at the Lair for just after 7pm

Must go and visit the arts centre website and see if they bothered posting there that they would be observing unusual opening hours. It’s just plain bad manners not to have some note of explanation posted on the gate.
This day will not be a public holiday in 2013 and will have jumped two days to Wednesday. It will be interesting to see what evil schemes they have plotted for their opening hours between now and then - maybe two weeks off for Christmas or something

But some of the magic must have rubbed off. Was a bit peeved but avoided going into one of those gloomy doomy ‘princess of pity parties’ mode and managed to remain in the present moment in spite of the whole purpose of the visit being one of unadulterated nostalgia