The Lair of the Emerald Serpent

Today was the big New Year party organized by the Chung Wa association even though it was actually Tuesday when the tiny sliver of a crescent moon made its first appearance

Peppa the pig made countless appearances on many of the little red and gold envelopes sold at the stalls. I asked on stall hall holder what the Chinese people have against green since they use green for the shares that are tanking on the stock exchange and even wanted to have traffic lights with green for stop and red for go. I guess the tourism bureau knocked that one on the head. She told me that green is not an unlucky colour except when worn as a HAT. Sorry. she said and smiled. I says that I should go and get 4444 embroidered on my gorgeous green silk hat and that will scare most of the Chinese people away. Or maybe just 444 as in only two thirds evil

So belated Chinese New Year's greetings to everyone who loves any opportunity to party

David Rowe has been more dedicated to the cause than most folks and has produced an infinite variety of porcine creatures for our amusement

( Pork Chopped )

A day late but still better than never

The anniversary of the demise of Lehman Brothers bank which officially launched the global financial crisis of 2008 has produced a veritable smorgasbord of goblin porn

Some excellent 101 guides to the goblin drama of the decade brought to you by the Oz ABC

A Beginner's Guide to Gloom and Doom

The Lehman Legacy



"Collateralized XXXXXX obligations", "Equity” and “mezzanine” tranches and the trashing of the Dodd Frank legislation. Haven’t we heard this story somewhere before?

Nightmare on Wall Street

So the new month had gotten off to a good start.

Time for the annual ritual of the Bazaar at the Fremantle Arts Centre (also known to this Serpent as St Brutus Secure Institute for the Criminally Insane since it used to be a lunatic asylum)

All sorts of weird and wonderful artists have their stands and sell lots of beautiful items at outrageous prices but the main attraction is to lurk and linger in the hallowed grounds after dark as the place usually closes at 5pm

So I usually take a peek at the wares and drool over the pretty things before slinking off into a quiet nook to watch the sunset, squiggle and start a bright shiny new book. Dodgy Donald's "Art of the Deal" is now back on its shelf and the new tome of darkness is Markus Zusak's "The Book Thief"

Got back to the Lair by 10pm, listened to the radio show "The Naked Scientists" while sitting in the garden finishing off the last glasses of bubbly from Thursday evening

Was going to be a very good serpent last night and hit the hay before midnight. No visits to Cyberia on the Big Mac. Just a quick peek on Twitter to see the latest on the Swamp Fill Tax Bill

Well that was the map. The territory turned out to be rather different. The one day I decide to dump the Don in favour of a date with Death, he goes and does the dirty on us.

The nasty Goblin Porn fest was tossed on the back burner because Mueller had done a Donald on it

He had stolen most of the oxygen of publicity with Flynn Friday.
There wee streamers and balloons and even the odd Advent Calendar or too and an assortment of amusing versions of the 12 days of Christmas in Twitterland.

How much unFAKE NEWS could a serpent cope with on just one day?
So it was only when the battery on the tweet stone was in the dead zone that I called it quits for the night and was back again at 5am to snaffle the latest tasty morsels. SAD!

So now the dirty deeds have been done, soon it won't be just freaky Flynn who will throw Dodgy Don under the bus
The Greedy Old Pedophile White Elephants have gotten their 15 minutes of fun out of him and will no doubt start divorce proceedings in order to shack up with their new love - dull colourless and boring but utterly evil and very controllable Michael Pence

So so hoping that Flynn has got the dirt to get Pence locked up too.

Politics truly is Hollywood for UGLY people.

Meanwhile waiting for that 400lb hacker in the basement to release those juicy morsels from the RNC

We know they are out there.

It’s been icky sticky muggy weather lately. The sort that turns an emerald serpent into a blubbering brain dead zombie
Got two bright shiny new tarot decks and some juicy Corinne Kenner books thanks to Cat Irix (and the brilliantly batty beasties at Baba Studios) but still not started a single squiggle with them

Been catching up on old fashioned letter writing and squiggling about the day time goblin dramas. And that’s not to even mention a certain Dursley and his trail of destruction in the Lair and steps taken to alleviate the disaster
Had specially set aside Friday 13th as a time of ideas and inspiration but it was a day earlier that they landed
Found a bright shiny new cafe for lurking and lounging. It’s in the city near transport, has toilets and lots of jugs of nice cold water,newspapers and most importantly of all it is not run by a bunch of nannies who want us all tucked up in bed by 5pm

Was perusing the newspaper and discovered that there was a P J Harvey concert the very next day (Friday 13th) and there were still tickets to be had. But no prices were mentioned. Even has beens from the 70s and 80s charge 60 silver sickles or more to see their performances. But it would be worth dropping by the concert hall next day just out of curiosity.
But that was until reading a pretty black and pink fringe festival brochure. There was a stack of them lying around in the coffee shop. Did not find out about this crazy zany event last year until it was already over. By then it was too late to slink and sniff about inside the stunningly gorgeous Spiegeltent
Within ten minutes it was clear that there was a whole pile of things the serpent would give her fangs to see.


How could we resist titles such as
Bunga bunga Burlesqueconi
City of Shadows
Gold Digger - the story of Australia’s most famous Iron ‘ore
(This delightful tale of one Rosie Portaloo was on at His Majesty's Theatre last year but missed out. Not this time my precious little poodles)

So for the price of one crappy back of beyond seat in the concert hall could get four tickets in the best spots in the house for the freaky fringe. Could be completely decadent and do the P J Harvey concert too but could really not justify such unaffordable excess.

So pottered off on Friday morning in search of the booking office in the cultural centre near the city railway station. Guessed it must be somewhere in the library. Turned out to be the cutest pink and white caravan complete with picket fence and astroturf just outside the art gallery

Had written a list of preferences of must see stuff in order of what would be most likely to sell out first. The lady at the counter advised that there would be a lot of half price tickets for some things but not others and that one item on our list “Checkout - the musical” would most likely come under that category
Had “Burlesque Garden” all signed sealed and delivered until noticing that it STARTED at the ungodly hour of 11pm. Bummer. Traded it in for “Hot pink bits”

Just when we thought the offerings could not get more decadent and delicious, the pink and fluffy people unleashed their secret weapon


Goblin Porn

Last November this magical and mystical old building was open for one Sunday to the public for heritage festival guided tours. It was free but bookings only and billeted as the last chance for the general public to see this gorgeous old green dame before her extensive makeover. That made it the must see event on the busy weekend schedule
But as luck would have it, that Sunday turned out to be a disgustingly hot and muggy day just like most of this last week. In addition to that, the strap of our black back pack broke earlier that day. That meant carrying it by hand. Amazing how much heavier bags are that way and especially when climbing lots and lots of stairs. So ended up rather irritable and exhausted and struggling to remain in the moment that day.
But now there is going to be three whole weeks of goblin goodness. Three weeks to explore the nooks and crannies of this most sacred site. Best of all, three of the shows on the wish list are held there and still not finished picked shows

It was a stroke of genius and probably a bit of public relations and marketing to snatch this spot and turn it into The Treasure Chest
The strange indemnity forms we had to sign before going on the tour are still part of the conditions of entering this strange place so it will be fun to go ghost spotting in the vaults.

This serpent will be officially relegating the last few weeks of 2012 to ancient history and celebrating the start of the new year on Monday. New moon, new beginnings and a dragon persona to blast the batteries of goblin enemies old and new. And a decadent feast for a hungry culture vulture is just the way to start

Move on over all you Nigerian spammers and scammers. You are a seriously sad bunch of has-beens


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Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury
Henry Paulson