The Lair of the Emerald Serpent

It's a strange start to the new Goblin year. I got up early to go to the day job only to discover that the place is shut and nobody had bothered to pass the message on which they have always done in the past via email.
It is funny because last year the shop was shut from Wednesday 1st April and reopened on Wednesday 1st July. This time it was closed for 1st July but probably also yesterday and the day before too.

I suspected it could be closed on account of the lockdown since a second hand charity shop does not quite count as an essential service the way a chemist or supermarket does.

So I just pottered around the other shops nearby before catching the bus back to the Lair. I ended up waiting 30 minutes for a bus that usually turns up every 10 minutes. Then of course 2 of them turned up at the same time.
So I was back at the Lair just in time for midday and spent the afternoon sitting in the garden soaking up the sunshine, reading the paper, planting a weed or two and doing a few Duolingo lessons.

Tomorrow will be more of the same since both the nursery and the op shop are closed. There is no point actually going anywhere since all the cafes if not closed are take away only. Since for me the whole point of going to a cafe is to sit down for an hour, read the paper and watch the world go by, if I cannot do that then I just don't bother at all since it is not the caffeine that I am addicted to but the ritual.

It is so sad and weird seeing nearly everything closed. After the last year of on and off lockdowns, many businesses have long used up their reserves and each lockdown could mean death row.
Especially since the cafe, pub and restaurant industry were so happy that all Covid restrictions had been lifted only 2 weeks ago so they were all back at maximum capacity and looking forward to the lucrative school holiday season.

There is a giant shit show in Canberra on account of the federal government's complete Covid incompetence. OZ did very well last year keeping the death toll low. It was one of the big success stories of 2020. But no thanks to sQomo and his happy clappy mates in Canberra. Like Boris Johnson and Donald Trump, they wanted to just let it rip and keep the economy going. They were dragged kicking and screaming back into the real world by the state governments who would be left burying the bodies.

The Feds have tried to piggy back off the success of the states but everything they touch turns to shit. Now there are giant shouting matches between the Feds and assorted Chief Health Officers and medical organizations about who should get the AZ vaccine because that crowd screwed up getting sufficient supplies of Pfizer.

I had AZ just over 6 weeks ago. If I had known that they would have extended the age group for Pfizer I might have chosen to wait. Mind you know that the virus is doing the rounds, a lot of vaccine hesitant people have changed their minds so there is an even bigger shortage than usual.

Payback is such a bitch.




Izzie could have never imagined while listening to Question Time from the parliament today that it would be the very last one featuring the mad monk at the helm of the sinking ship. There were certain snarks and subtle hints but it took 20/20 hindsight to reveal them.

Within less than 7 hours there was a mutiny and the crazy captain found himself on Death Row about to walk the plank.
"Time doesn't mean anything when you're about to have water lapping at your door"


Once again he touched this serpent's heart with his eloquence and vision.


I've been heartened by the messages of support flooding into Liberal MPs' offices this evening saying most emphatically saying we are not the Labor Party. I want to repeat that, I have most heartened by the messages of support flooding into Liberal MPs' offices saying most emphatically we are not the Labor Party.

This country needs strong and stable government, and that means avoiding - at all costs - Labor's revolving door prime ministership.

If the mad captain had spent a bit more time thinking about the destination he wanted to steer the ship TO instead of constantly obsessing about all those ports he wanted to avoid and spending two years reminding the crew and passengers of just how awful the previous captains were, then he might have nipped the mutiny in the bud.



The advice "Don't think of pink pythons" comes to mind. It was Tony Abbott who unleashed the attack dogs as leader of the opposition and now they have come back to bite their master big time.

Maybe now Australia can return to the 21st century and the adults can get back to running the country. Maybe there'll be co-operation and consultation where there had been combat and captain's calls. Maybe there will be a fair go and hope for most folks. Except the political cartoonists. It is a most dark day indeed for them.

JuLIAR the wicked red witch of the East must be cackling right now.

How time flies when you are having fun. It seems like centuries ago but only yesterday that the serpent set foot on this ancient land exactly twenty years ago after a long long unwilling absence

So what is there to show for 20 years of slinking about in Oz?

On the material front there is the Lair fully paid off 15 years after moving in. The Days of the Great Australian Dream are over for most of the younger folks of this land. Izzie was one of the lucky ones
Times have changed so much. From arriving as a penniless serpent in debt to the Dursleys to pay back the airfare over here to paying off all the bills and saving up a big fat deposit for a house in less than 3 years

In those days this was a land of milk and honey. Even a relatively unambitious creature with a job flipping burgers could afford to buy their very own little castle in a suburb not too far out of town.
There was such a glut of rental properties that real estate agents were offering several weeks rent free

Then came the goblins and the mining boom. It was from 2006 onwards that it got really crazy. Before that you could buy lots with your dollar but it was worse than worthless overseas. Now it can buy lots over there and is pretty much useless here
And to buy that burger flipper's house now required two middle class incomes.

There's been one Grand European Tour and lots of yoyo years and the last two have been nasties. The first trashed by a certain toad who tossed the Izzie on the scrap heap. Been stuck there for far longer than necessary. Only now finally getting around to picking up the pieces and creating an identity independent of a certain 17 years of house elf slavery. Slavery is not quite the right word except for the last four years there after the Goblin Invasion. That's when the place went from nice to neutral and then downright toxic

But one thing is certain. Life seems so pointless without a purpose. No job and no mortgage sounds like heaven but without either there's simply no reason to get up in the morning. It was not an issue during the months of April, July and two Novembers but for the rest of the time it was a very big deal indeed

The two new zombie jobs have made all the difference in the world. And soon they'll be there long enough to be added to any future resume

So 2014 will be devoted to adding other grand projects and purposes to replace what the old toad snatched and trashed

Then there's all the politics. This land has gotten so much meaner and nastier in the last 20 years. The rot seemed to start some time in 2001 but by the end of that year it had become irreversible

That's about the time that the crazy war cult started and now it has become almost a national religion

It's hard to know whether it is disturbing or reassuring to see that power exerts the pretty much the same influence on people where ever they are in the world

If the Izzie lives to celebrate the passing of the next 20 years there will have been some seriously big birthday parties. 200 years since the founding of Dursleyville, 400 years since the sinking of the Batavia (and before that the founding of the Dutch East India Company - the first ever floated on the stock exchange as we know it) and a whole bunch of others

Got no intention of waiting that long for the big parties so decided to start early this November

Still only just over one day ahead on the target Nanowrimo word count of 33,333 so the big catch ups on posts and comments in Dreamwidth and Livejournal land once again get put on the long finger

Izzie was getting all nostalgic for the election of 2010 when we had some seriously wicked campaign adverts courtesy of Evil Auntie ABC

This year Tony Abbott was going to not just stop the boats but buy them and send drones flying around our borders to serve as an early warning system

That's where a pair of wings comes in very handy

Only one more sleep to go until the Big Day

Izzie is a die hard politics junkie. This year for the first time will be able to follow all the drama all day without any 3-9pm shift at the mad house getting in the way

So if there was any genie in a bottle or fairy godmother to grant wishes for this year's election results, this serpent has a few simple wishes

1 A hung parliament (let's see how long it takes for squeaky clean Mr Rabbit to start doing dodgy deals with minor parties)

2 A Labor victory but Kevin Rudd loses his seat. That smug little git so needs to be put back in his box

3 Alannah McTiernan wins her seat and becomes our new Prime Minister. Who cares that she's photoshopped her campaign pics to look younger than her grand daughter. She not only gets stuff done on time and on budget but is big on public transport and reducing dependence on oil and fossil fuels for a whole bunch of sensible reasons of which climate change is only one

But Tony Abbott will be Pope before any of that happens so here's a second best wish list with dollops of masochistic schadenfreude


Now that the junk yard dog will be unleashed on the unsuspecting public, let's go the whole way and have his fellow rotweillers Julie Bishop, Eric Abetz and Sophie Mirabella on the front bench

Smirking smug Sophie has mannerisms and a condescending tone of voice uncannily like the Queen of Goblin Toads from the mad house that used to be the Izzie day job

Malcolm Turnbull can get the new portfolio of Minister of Porn while the maddest baddest attack dog of all and Tony's best mate Rupert Murdoch can be our new front bench Minister of Media and Communications

Eric Abetz of course is itching to get his hands on the soon to be resurrected Work Choices and Cardinal George Pell can be the number one adviser on Direct Action on Climate Change and Minister for Marriage Equality. He can run the Department of Child Protection while he is at it and why not add CSIRO as well?

And who else but the sexy Fiona Scott would be more suitable for Minister for Transport, Immigration and Foreign affairs?

It's going to be a very interesting 3 years

Slinks in for a quick squiggle before a last lurk over at Nanoland

Hard to believe but it was way back on Friday 19th November 1993 that the serpent set paws in the Wild West of Oz to settle down and be a boring old fart

It seems so so long ago but also almost like yesterday. It's somewhat easier to remember the last Friday 19th November which was in 2004 and the last day at uni for Izzie. Done nothing at all with it since and spent $15,000 or so on books and fees for that degree.
Would have been better off paying it off the house but no education is ever really wasted

Other folks - Vernon and Petunia for instance would say that it was also a waste of five years. The serpent doe not see it that way for the simple reason that those five years would have gone by anyway regardless of doing any course or not. Sometimes it's being busy that keeps you efficient and out of trouble
No the real opportunity cost was the $15,000 silver sickles spent on the goblins

Izzie is no Zuckerberg or even a less glamorous rags to riches critter but did come here back in 1993 with nothing but a couple thousand silver sickles owing to the Dursleys for the plane ticket from Hamburg. Did pay them back much quicker than ever expected and within five years had became a property tycoon and stuck an old paw in the Lair

A dear friend from long ago gave the advice that when you make a decision always ask yourself how you will feel about it 5 years or 10 years from now
Bestest advice ever.
Knew that Oz was going to be the serpent lurking ground for some time to come so it would be make sense to get a nest to lurk in. Not like the old brother dearest Dudley who went to London way back in the mid 80s and always intended to move to Oz next year. Some 25 years later he is still there stuck in a rut. Only ended up with a house because the ma went over in 2001 and went looking for one for him

So within five years of Izzie testing the toes the mining boom started. Before long old Dursleyville had transformed from a place where the lowliest house elf working in McDonalds or your average supermarket could get a half decent house on one wage to a stage where two middle class yuppies are struggling to afford a tin shack some 20km out from the city centre

Been back to Europe and visited Middle Earth once since then and got introduced to the best tour guide to Cyberia
Izzie loves the internet and wonders how all the wierd wacko misfit freaks ever managed in the bad old days before it was possible to find like minded creatures

It does turn out that some 600 or more denizens of Dursleyville are strange enough to sign up for the nano nuttiness but without a Portkey to Cyberia would have never heard about it or them

It was a stinking sizzling 39 degrees today and looks like all the tomato and chili seeds planted two weeks ago got well and truly shriveled before even their first leaves emerged

There was also a feast of tasty morsels on Radio National today. Between the Book Show and Bush Telegraph, always a feast for the ears and more plot points to snatch for that nasty little novel

So since 1993 it is now possible to not only get real dark Lindt chocolate but it's even available in the supermarkets and often on sale for a mere two silver sickles. But the Green and Blacks 85% is much tastier and the best dark chocolate ever
Now there's aged gouda and the odd Appenzeller appearing in the shops and of course the portkey to Cyberia so we are not so much in the wild west wilderness as we used to be
Still missing old friends and the spooky old places in Europe but Oz has become a much more serpent friendly abode
The next Friday 19th November will not roll up until 2021 so it will be interesting to drop by with the latest gossip, assuming that Izzie is still interested or even alive to post about the latest serpent gossip

Back at work tomorrow. Two computer free days so lots more plotting and scheming so that Monday can be spent tossing another 3,000 or so words on the pile
This is proving to be much easier than last year. No big bad evil Google Docs black holes. What a difference