izmeina: creepy spooky old house infested with crawling critters (spooky)
For the first time since the start of August, Izzie has finally managed to find herself in the zone where a million muses offer inspiration but unable to take proper advantage of it until an hour ago.
It was actually this morning that the inspiration arrived for the very first time since the arrival of the latest nasty and very vicious Howler on the afternoon of Tuesday 31st July. It was almost as if the Old Toad knew that this serpent was plotting and planning and she wanted to sabotage our efforts. There is no way she could know unless she really does come from Stasiland where they know stuff even before it happens and make it up if they don't.

Paid a visit to Petunia on Tuesday so missed a whole day of nano squiggling. That is one very bad and dangerous habit. It takes so long to catch up and the lost words can so quickly accumulate

But today was the big day. Such a pity it was not really possible to make the most of it due to various things that had to be done today in preparation for tomorrow morning’s Grand Inquisition

Not posted a single thing about this latest instalment of the drama that is Toad Hall (also known as the day job) Wasted two Camp Nano days on composing a response to the outrageous allegations and have not been able to build up a sufficient word stash to take time out to tell this particular toadish tale in all its gory details

Several times both on the train and the bus was bombarded with brilliant ideas but was not within quick reach of pen and paper and so had to use the old serpent skull as storage space.
Did manage to snatch a copy of Animalia at the library as well as pay a visit to the art gallery with those creepy Alistair Crowley pictures and the assorted demonic sigils, sculptures and paper cut creepy crawlies including Baalzebub - The Lord of the Flies himself.
The grand original plan of writing one 2,000 word story per day did not work due to that ever so meddlesome toad sapping the spark out of this serpent and turning the ickle green cells to zombie mush. So resorted to just plodding along and writing 300 words here and another 200 there all the while hoping for inspiration to strike
It was only the sniffing out of a significant piece of written evidence that proves that not one but three different goblins are involved in ‘bearing false witness’ that the Izzie could finally calm down and relish the chance of our ‘day in court’ making these guttersnipes gobble shit sandwiches
Today was so relaxed and calm. Was finally able to remain in the present moment for the first time in weeks. It makes such a big difference to creativity.
But did end up crashing around 7pm when some creepy creatures got on the bus. Was suddenly overtaken by tiredness. The original plans to return to the Lair by 7pm got amended by an unexpected encounter with an old acquaintance.

So being too dark in the dungeon to properly see the tarot cards, got out that copy of Animalia. You know you have too many books when you have to go to the library to borrow one you already own because you cannot find it.
So set up a separate chapter and started at the letter A.
By the letter C we had hit a veritable gold mine. The main feature of the picture are a bunch of crimson cats sitting by a creek. One is wearing a cap, another snacking on crayfish, another wearing a collar and a camera while yet another plays with a calculator. They also have a party with candles, cake and cups of coffee while in the distance crows nest in a castle on a hill.
Came up with a character called Catriona Cardassian who loves the champagne and caviar lifestyle but has to manage on a beer budget. She gets out her calculator to work out the cost of her planned Caribbean cruise and cannot think of a way to collect the necessary cash. She then has the inspired idea to open a Cat Holiday Home offering respite for fussy Cats and their staff
So far we have gotten to describing the castle, the main foyer and dining room with the candelabra, chandeliers, and silver service dining experience
And how can we forget the obligatory mission statements and assorted company posters extolling their ‘creme de la creme’ of cat care services”

Turreted towers boast beautiful views of birds while flags with little Hello Kitty cats on them adorn the entrance of the castle. In the foyer sits a little old lady behind a counter knitting little mittens for kittens while waiting for the occasional phone inquiry or Cat lover to collect or drop off their darling charges into Catriona’s tender loving care
A dining room with linen table cloths and silver service bowls can be seen from the entrance. The cats drink certified biodynamic double cream from Jersey cows out of Czech lead crystal bowls and feast on sumptious silver platters of crayfish, lobster, caviar and cod. Vegetarian cats are catered for with cucumber sandwiches.
Chandeliers hang from the dining room ceiling and there are pure beeswax candles on every table
Prominently displayed on every table is a parchment menu in perfect copper plate script. No mass produced dodgy photocopies or some snappy crap from the local print shop but each individually written long hand with love.
Pride of place is given to the Mission Statement (to please the inner pussy) and Vision For Catfish Creature Comforts Castle

Every Cat is a cherished cat
Our marvellous moggies are at the centre of everything we do. A quality carefree experience is guaranteed
Protection, perfection, passion and politeness for your precious pussy
Catriona personally does the guided tours of the premises for prospective Resident Cats and their staff including the spacious gardens and sun house. She is such a stickler for perfection and attention to detail
The gardens are truly a magnificent sight. A copse of cherry trees and assorted rocks along with bird attracting shrubs. For the less ambitious or mobility impaired felines there is the Mouse House where they can feast on little creatures with little effort required. Of course this is not necessary as their nutritional needs are perfectly catered for by our team of qualified chefs. A dietician assesses each individual cat’s needs to ensure that they get the correct age appropriate mix of protein, vitamins and trace elements essential to the feline well being. But a cat needs to indulge her natural instincts so we have provided mouse catching and other occupational therapy activities to create a stimulating environment for your very precious pet.
A number of cats lounge languidly on large cushy chairs looking quite content. Some have little tails hanging out of their mouths while others paws are adorned with feathers
Others are content to simply sit in the sun watching the fish swimming about in the enormous aquarium.


But of course all that glitters is not silver.
No one gives a rat’s arse about old people but try running a Cat haven the way a certain nursing home is managed then there would be massive public outrage
So the Izzie is going to have a pile of fun taking the piss big time out of these dirty goblins. And there won’t even be any need to keep the finished tale under lock and key
Payback is such a bitch
When life hands you lemons, squeeze them till the pips squeak and make lemon champagne
izmeina: a snippet of Escher's circle of serpents (Default)
For the first time in three years the first week back to work after the serpent holidays has gone very well indeed
No Cheshire Rats telling us all 'to grow extra pairs of arms' when informed of being short staffed or evil stinking goblins letting us work the whole week short

But the best bit of the week was just before knock off time. Had finished all the duties for the day and went to read the memo book for a bit of entertainment and amusement.

Such a tasty morsel the serpent could not have imagined in her wildest dreams
The subject title was "Social Networking Policy"

First reaction - why did they take so long? For a bunch of image conscious litigacious bean counters it was most negligent indeed
Second reaction - we wants our own personal copy of this delicious and delightful morsel

So was ever so delighted to read on further to find that this matter is regarded with such urgency and importance that it will be raised at not just the next staff meeting but the one after that and everyone will get a copy with their next pay slip - which of course will be a day late due to the excuse of a public holiday over east in spite of the fact that we are located in the wildest west of Oz.

While this policy was mainly concerned with social networking - specifically Vicebook and Twitter - they did go on to mention blogging in general and an obsession with cyber bullying
It was all about protecting the reputation of the organization and protecting the interests of stake holders - making the very ridiculous assumption that their reputation is even worth protecting. Such wishful thinking
It was all about their image and its enhancement and threats of termination of employment. Nowhere was any consideration given to the veracity of the vindictive posts online

A bunch of us were having a giggle over this latest tasty morsel. The serpent sneered about the stupid losers on Vicebook one of whom was present in the room. She got all huffy and indignant to which the Izzie proclaimed that anyone dumb enough to post about work on a site using their real name deserves whatever they get. This particular princess had already gotten rapped over the knuckles for mentioning names and places but it was a bit rich coming from a boss bitch who posted photos of people at work without ever requesting permission. But that's one of the perks of being a boss well at least until this new policy came along


Izzie is so so looking forward to having a personal copy of this memo to peruse at leisure and wonders if we should request a copy in pdf form at the next staff meeting to save the bother of having to type some of the tastiest tidbits instead of being able to just cut and paste

Can't imagine what they'd think of a creature who not only blogs about goblins but has squiggled a whole 50,000 word nanowrimo novel taking the piss out of the bastards

Was hoping to find the policy online - no luck yet at the Oracle of Google but did find another one just as juicy
The Horrid Hufflepuff Bank says "Snitch and Spy or you're fired"

Most amused indeed to see a bunch of German websites are sharing the joy. As we say in Oz "Which bank? They're all bastards"

Of course - this serpent is so secretive that no one at Salazars' Sanatorium has any idea of her alternative Cyberian identity

But just one question to all geeks out there - needing to know if we need to tweek a bit - can a website that has been linked to find the sources of links if they are locked, protected or private entries?
This time last year the serpent attended the traveling kitchen cabinet starring Kevin 747. Who could have ever known that only two weeks later he would be knifed in the back and replaced by the Red Queen.
As well as gossiping about them, the goblins also got a mention under lock and key of course with linkies to the Buzzword bingo at the "Megatherion Money Management" website
So assuming these new rules are retrospective - we needs to know if linkies can be traced
izmeina: (oro)
For the first time in three years the first week back to work after the serpent holidays has gone very well indeed
No Cheshire Rats telling us all 'to grow extra pairs of arms' when informed of being short staffed or evil stinking goblins letting us work the whole week short

But the best bit of the week was just before knock off time. Had finished all the duties for the day and went to read the memo book for a bit of entertainment and amusement.

Such a tasty morsel the serpent could not have imagined in her wildest dreams
The subject title was "Social Networking Policy"

First reaction - why did they take so long? For a bunch of image conscious litigacious bean counters it was most negligent indeed
Second reaction - we wants our own personal copy of this delicious and delightful morsel

So was ever so delighted to read on further to find that this matter is regarded with such urgency and importance that it will be raised at not just the next staff meeting but the one after that and everyone will get a copy with their next pay slip - which of course will be a day late due to the excuse of a public holiday over east in spite of the fact that we are located in the wildest west of Oz.

While this policy was mainly concerned with social networking - specifically Vicebook and Twitter - they did go on to mention blogging in general and an obsession with cyber bullying
It was all about protecting the reputation of the organization and protecting the interests of stake holders - making the very ridiculous assumption that their reputation is even worth protecting. Such wishful thinking
It was all about their image and its enhancement and threats of termination of employment. Nowhere was any consideration given to the veracity of the vindictive posts online

A bunch of us were having a giggle over this latest tasty morsel. The serpent sneered about the stupid losers on Vicebook one of whom was present in the room. She got all huffy and indignant to which the Izzie proclaimed that anyone dumb enough to post about work on a site using their real name deserves whatever they get. This particular princess had already gotten rapped over the knuckles for mentioning names and places but it was a bit rich coming from a boss bitch who posted photos of people at work without ever requesting permission. But that's one of the perks of being a boss well at least until this new policy came along


Izzie is so so looking forward to having a personal copy of this memo to peruse at leisure and wonders if we should request a copy in pdf form at the next staff meeting to save the bother of having to type some of the tastiest tidbits instead of being able to just cut and paste

Can't imagine what they'd think of a creature who not only blogs about goblins but has squiggled a whole 50,000 word nanowrimo novel taking the piss out of the bastards

Was hoping to find the policy online - no luck yet at the Oracle of Google but did find another one just as juicy
The Horrid Hufflepuff Bank says "Snitch and Spy or you're fired"

Most amused indeed to see a bunch of German websites are sharing the joy. As we say in Oz "Which bank? They're all bastards"

Of course - this serpent is so secretive that no one at Salazars' Sanatorium has any idea of her alternative Cyberian identity

But just one question to all geeks out there - needing to know if we need to tweek a bit - can a website that has been linked to find the sources of links if they are locked, protected or private entries?
This time last year the serpent attended the traveling kitchen cabinet starring Kevin 747. Who could have ever known that only two weeks later he would be knifed in the back and replaced by the Red Queen.
As well as gossiping about them, the goblins also got a mention under lock and key of course with linkies to the Buzzword bingo at the "Megatherion Money Management" website
So assuming these new rules are retrospective - we needs to know if linkies can be traced
izmeina: a snippet of Escher's circle of serpents (Default)
Izzie will be ever so glad to see the tail end of December. It's been the month from hell when it should have been pretty good indeed.
The weather has turned troppo since yesterday afternoon. The serpent was already seriously cranky without this added irritation
The 39.6 sizzler wasn't the killer. Was sitting outside in the shade quite happily listening to a story on Radio National about Adam Smith. It was the brooding storm clouds later that afternoon and the onset of hot horrid humid stickiness that was the last straw
Snoozed for two hours or so and was still tired. Got started on the serpent sty of a room and made pretty good progress. Was supposed to have finished sorting it out by the end of this month not just beginning. But the excuse always was that there's actually no space to put all those piles of books, art and craft supplies and munchies. But a bit of lateral thinking and better use of available space solved some of those problems

If it hadn't been so hot, would have gone into the city in the afternoon to get a new watch. The old one died some time between 6 and 7pm on Christmas Eve. Such perfect timing. Between Christmas, work and all those public holidays, had to go without for 4 days. It was almost like being missing an arm even though today was the only day catching a bus and stuff where it really is indispensable
Just another item to add to the avalanche of chaos that has been the last few weeks

Would have been perfectly happy to spend the afternoon snoozing like yesterday after sorting out all those phone calls concerning the gas and house insurance. But this was the first opportunity to go to the city to find a watch and tomorrow would be too busy for such trivia
It was hot as hell - all stinking and sticky and the city was infested with humans - all at the post Christmas summer sales
Was ever so glad to have organized a pre-emptive strike for the one sale that mattered and tomorrow will be pottering off to pick up our very precioussssss prize

Had already been in a murderous mood from work this morning. The low life scum were too cheap to put on any cleaners, laundry or maintenance for the whole 4 days of Christmas so much of the morning was wasted running around trying to find clothes and various supplies along with doing the regular work
And then Izzie got allocated the awful job of feeding the slobbering zombie which takes between 20-30 mins.
This evil creature is worthy of whole bunch of posts and she and her pathetic plastic family will be getting starring roles in Izzie's next nano novel.
If life throws you lemons, then make lemonade
The special attention paid to the slobbering zombie and part time vampire and banshee is indicative of the pathetic litigacious arse covering culture of this place.
The unofficial company policy used to be that the cry baby gets the milk. Now they are getting the cream too and she and her freaky family are the living incarnation of this policy

Luckily the Cheshire Rat is presently on holidays. Barely 6 months in the door and she's already dossing. Seeing her stupid sneering smirk would have been just too much especially after certain things she did last week that could only be described as criminal negligence and hypocrisy of the worst kind

Will be needing to find some loose leaf kind of notebook to keep notes of all these critters and their immortal lines. Turning the whole thing into some sort of observation or anthropological study by some impartial Martian makes it somewhat more tolerable

After finishing at 1.30pm tomorrow, will not be back again until next year. Sunday to be exact.
Saturday 2nd is the serpent birthday so requested the day off ages ago. So 3 days should be enough to restore the seriously depleted energy shields

Got some serious catching up to do in Cyberia. Annual posts, back ups and that kind of thing.
Here's hoping we can snap out of this murderous mood. Hatred is toxic and stupid and very very tiring. But since when can you combat emotions with reason?
izmeina: a snippet of Escher's circle of serpents (Default)
Izzie will be ever so glad to see the tail end of December. It's been the month from hell when it should have been pretty good indeed.
The weather has turned troppo since yesterday afternoon. The serpent was already seriously cranky without this added irritation
The 39.6 sizzler wasn't the killer. Was sitting outside in the shade quite happily listening to a story on Radio National about Adam Smith. It was the brooding storm clouds later that afternoon and the onset of hot horrid humid stickiness that was the last straw
Snoozed for two hours or so and was still tired. Got started on the serpent sty of a room and made pretty good progress. Was supposed to have finished sorting it out by the end of this month not just beginning. But the excuse always was that there's actually no space to put all those piles of books, art and craft supplies and munchies. But a bit of lateral thinking and better use of available space solved some of those problems

If it hadn't been so hot, would have gone into the city in the afternoon to get a new watch. The old one died some time between 6 and 7pm on Christmas Eve. Such perfect timing. Between Christmas, work and all those public holidays, had to go without for 4 days. It was almost like being missing an arm even though today was the only day catching a bus and stuff where it really is indispensable
Just another item to add to the avalanche of chaos that has been the last few weeks

Would have been perfectly happy to spend the afternoon snoozing like yesterday after sorting out all those phone calls concerning the gas and house insurance. But this was the first opportunity to go to the city to find a watch and tomorrow would be too busy for such trivia
It was hot as hell - all stinking and sticky and the city was infested with humans - all at the post Christmas summer sales
Was ever so glad to have organized a pre-emptive strike for the one sale that mattered and tomorrow will be pottering off to pick up our very precioussssss prize

Had already been in a murderous mood from work this morning. The low life scum were too cheap to put on any cleaners, laundry or maintenance for the whole 4 days of Christmas so much of the morning was wasted running around trying to find clothes and various supplies along with doing the regular work
And then Izzie got allocated the awful job of feeding the slobbering zombie which takes between 20-30 mins.
This evil creature is worthy of whole bunch of posts and she and her pathetic plastic family will be getting starring roles in Izzie's next nano novel.
If life throws you lemons, then make lemonade
The special attention paid to the slobbering zombie and part time vampire and banshee is indicative of the pathetic litigacious arse covering culture of this place.
The unofficial company policy used to be that the cry baby gets the milk. Now they are getting the cream too and she and her freaky family are the living incarnation of this policy

Luckily the Cheshire Rat is presently on holidays. Barely 6 months in the door and she's already dossing. Seeing her stupid sneering smirk would have been just too much especially after certain things she did last week that could only be described as criminal negligence and hypocrisy of the worst kind

Will be needing to find some loose leaf kind of notebook to keep notes of all these critters and their immortal lines. Turning the whole thing into some sort of observation or anthropological study by some impartial Martian makes it somewhat more tolerable

After finishing at 1.30pm tomorrow, will not be back again until next year. Sunday to be exact.
Saturday 2nd is the serpent birthday so requested the day off ages ago. So 3 days should be enough to restore the seriously depleted energy shields

Got some serious catching up to do in Cyberia. Annual posts, back ups and that kind of thing.
Here's hoping we can snap out of this murderous mood. Hatred is toxic and stupid and very very tiring. But since when can you combat emotions with reason?
izmeina: a snippet of Escher's circle of serpents (Default)
The Izzie has become a bit of a house serpent lately. Developed a sudden allergy to shops and places with lots of lurking humanses. Had such an overdose of Dementors and flouncing poncy poltergeists at our day job - even aside from the fact that it is more than a week ago since the last of the Cuddly Pumpkins unexpectedly departed this mortal coil. The Izzie really must find time to write a squiggle about the wonderful Wally - a beautiful gentle soul and lover of peanut butter and all things munchable. He must have lived there for at least five years and was originally from Texas. He had a very soft and gorgeous voice and a twinkle in his eye and unlike most folks who get to that age - was always looking out for everyone else instead of demanding to be treated like the master of the universe with the "Bugger you. I'm all right" attitude which is so common among the nasty nineties.

That's the problem with working in the home for superannuated sorcerers. You get to know folks and become very attached to some of them and then when they inevitably die, it is like losing a member of your own family. Unfortunately, the new batch includes a bunch of bitches - one with a remarkable resemblance to Margaret Thatcher - paranoid and posh and the princess of pity parties. Even one of the other house elves calls her "Our Lady of Sorrows" and she is most partial indeed to various shades of pink. Dolores is truly a perfect name for this pathetic specimen but she would have to share it with just too many other folks - including of course - the ex matron.

Wally was a midnight lurker - used to be a truck driver and was often slinking around late at night in search of munchies. Izzie once got him a big fat one kilo jar of peanut butter for Christmas. His other addiction was choccies and ciggies - the latter which his family would not let him have. So, he was the last person the Izzie would ever expect to fall out of bed and break his hip. Got sent to hospital but due to a combination of age and lung problems caused by smoking, he never even made it to the surgery.

So, this happened the Saturday before Easter so he never even got to feast on lots of eggs and Easter bunnies. Easter just was not the same without Wally. And there never even was a public funeral - lots of us house elves would have gone as Wally really was loved by just about everyone who knew him.

Outside of work - the Iz had lots of moon watching planned. Both nights - had Wormtail and our wine and cheese picnic all ready and picked what seemed to be the perfect spot to be directly in line to see the first glimmer of moonlight. Both times we then decided that this location was a little bit off centre so moved to another spot to the left and ended up missing the moon and not seeing it until it had been up for twenty minutes or so. So so peeved since it turns out that if we had simply listened to the whisperings of the inner serpent instead of being persuaded by what we thought was reason, would not have missed those first golden rays of moonlight.
Was particuarly peeved on Good Friday as we had saved a certain chapter of "Goblet of Fire" specially for this occasion. It's most important to the Izzie to have our moon toast just as it peeks out over the horizon and not when it is already up and about.

Aside from this minor stuff up - Good Friday was pretty nice - probably the best part of Easter - having the day off certainly helps - bit hard to go moonwatching when working 3-10pm as we were on Saturday, Sunday, and yesterday.

Spent the morning sitting in the sun after the very quirky Stations of the Cross service held in one of the city parks - they do this every year - the less happy clappy and more leftish greenish social justice sorts of Christians. The station with the man standing on a box dressed in a black cloak like a Dementor and looking exactly like that poor man in Abu Ghraib was particularly poignant and creepy. Always did remind the Izzie of the crucifixion and using this idea certainly made it very real - the whole idea of detentions and torture on trumped up charges and unfair trials - and politicians washing their hands of the whole travesty - is not just something that used to happen 2,000 years ago in exotic far away places.

After that, next stop was staying in the park sitting on a bench under the shade of the magnificent Moreton Bay fig trees. Was so so funny sitting there. This 20 something fellow comes up to the Iz and asks where we got our hat from. He said he'd been drooling over it for the last 40 minutes or so (he was at the service too) and some member of Deep Purple wears one exactly like it. Iz told him that we got it from Vinnies the second hand shop and that yesss - it is most preciousss to us indeed. One of the girls he was with who was on the other side of the trees called out laughing and saying she was worried that he was going to try snatch it off us.
So so sweet. Amazing - how this evil green object can cause drooling fits of envy among some but absolute disgust and abhorrence in the likes of people like Petunia who hates it with a vengeance.

We then spent another hour or two slinking in the park reading the amazing adventures of the uber scary and utterly evil Jeronimus Cornelisz and his band of most mutinous men. Turns out to be just the sort of thing for Good Friday. This story is gruesome and gory even before they all get off the ship. The punishments meted out to sailors caught indulging in knife fights was truly most squirm inducing indeed - the sorts of thing worthy of being included in the KUBARK reports.

After that, it was lunchie munchies in the Chinese restaurant Izzie frequented before discovering the infinitely superior Annalakshmi. Then pottered over to City Farm - a most gorgeous organic permaculture garden in the city full of winding paths and pretty plants - all so healthy that it makes the Izzie positively green with envy. The perfect place to enter the Triwizard Maze. But so far and no further as we had the next chapter reserved for our moonlight picnic.

By that stage it was 3pm. So, it was a case of lurking and sniffing in the gardens while reading our Potter adventures before then heading off to our picnic spot to be there for 5.30pm. Enroute, we passed the 'Le Croissant Patisserie' which we certainly did not expect to be open. Just the excuse for a big fishbowl of latte. This is the only cafe in Dursleyville that Izzie knows of that serves coffees French style in those enormous bowls.

The rest of the weekend was nowhere near as nice. Sunday morning got up bright and early to make the choccie munchies that we were supposed to have cooked up the night before. Was supposed to make some bread with the fresh yeast we bought on Thursday but didn't get around to it in the end. But then it was time to get on the broomstick to go to work for 3pm. Sunday was literally the shittiest Easter ever. No need to elaborate.

Hoping that we are finally getting over this phase of doom and gloom which began on 20th March when we had to work with the pathetic poltergeist. Had to put up again with him last night and managed not to wring his slimy little neck but it leaves us of course drained and with no energy or interest in doing anything that requires exertion of any kind.
Just how pathetic this critter is - will be hoping to elaborate in the next instalment with snippets of some of the conversations and comments our long suffering serpent ears had to endure last night. He is back again tonight but it's not Izzie who has the pleasure of his company. Will still see him flouncing around and warbling but will at least not have to work with him.

Maybe we can finally get back to looking forward to planning our grand European adventure.
izmeina: a snippet of Escher's circle of serpents (Default)
After a week or so of chaos, Izzie's existence finally gets back to its usual abnormal state.
There are so many rats leaving the sinking ship that the Izzie just cannot keep up. Was too broke to contribute to the collection tins, but last Thursday, Izzie had the inspired idea to come up with her own little goodbye gifts for two of the elves – one whose last shift was yesterday and the other's was this morning.
So Friday we went shopping in our favorite grocery store. The price of almonds has increased by around 50% in the last year or so and almonds just happen to be the main ingredient in Izzie's specialty – Cockroach Clusters. But now it's time for some serious substitution. Tried pecan nuts but they don't take kindly to being chopped into ickle slivers as well as being just a bit too overpowering in flavour. There's also the possibility of using chopped up biscuits and stuff. But we will still be using almond slivers in this latest batch. However, while slinking among the spices and nosing at the nuts, the Izzie spied a big sack of granulated peanuts – all nicely chopped and roasted, but most importantly of all – totally and absolutely salt free and much much cheaper than almonds.

So the plan was to fill up little bowls on Friday – one with dried apricots and another with prunes, top them up with whiskey and let them soak for a day or so as well as toasting all those slivered almonds. Saturday would be the day for melting all those choccie bars and actually making the munchies. Well, the map is not the territory. Was supposed to be finishing work at 10pm, but due to some monumental stuff ups and communication breakdowns, ended up having to stay until 11pm. So that was the end of Saturday's choccie making.

So guess what Izzie ended up doing with her Sunday online time? Actually, turned out to be a particularly successful session as we came up with the inspired idea of dipping the drunken apricots which we had pureed and rolled into balls. Been a long long time since Izzie had done some choccie dipping as it is pretty damned tricky. If you don't get the melting procedures done properly, the chocolate coating gets all grey and streaky. So, killing two birds with the one stone, once the dipping had been done, tossed the almonds in to the remaining melted chocolate sludge, stirred around and tossed little spoonfuls of crunchy cockroach clusters onto our baking trays.

Did the same thing all over again on Monday night but also tried the granulated peanuts. Scrumptious little buggers at less than a quarter the price of almonds. Only problem is, they are not quite as subtle in flavour so adding things like diced crystallized ginger, cherries or apricots just does not really work at all.

So maybe this massive price increase for almond turns out to be a blessing in disguise as we have now resorted to a bit more experimenting and returning to some old favorites. But the chances of making fresh cream truffles still remain remote as the mixture has to be whisked up all nice and fluffy with a room temperature of just about 0 degrees Celsius.

So while such activities are a most decadent indulgence, the cost in time and ingredients is truly tiny in proportion to the value in the eyes of the recipient. Choccies are always considered a decadent luxury and hand made choccies are truly off the scale. Folks really do seem to think that making such critters requires magical and mystical powers not possessed by mere Muggles. And Izzie of course, is quite content to maintain the mystery.

Well. We have had five elves leaving in the space of two weeks and the goblin bitch who did all our pays late the other week will be leaving on Friday too. The only choccies that she would have a chance of getting would be some of those wickedly wonderful Weasley delights – a la Fred and George – and preferably stuff still at the beta- testing stages.
Had to ring up the bank today to get our house repayments moved from every second Thursday to Fridays instead, in case they make a habit of such meanness.

Yesss. Long overdue for an update on the dastardly doings of Dolores but in between mucking around with munchies, coping with the advances of a dozen or so amorous dementors and dealing with the unexpected demise of a most cute and cuddly canine creature, the Izzie has just been too exhausted to do much more than lurking in Cyberia.
izmeina: a snippet of Escher's circle of serpents (Default)
Izzie slinks into Cyberia after a long day lurking around and doing not much at all. Was not amused to get Friday and Saturday off this week from our house elf job instead of the usual Thursday and Friday. It was a wet and miserable day on Thursday and today it was rather sunny but the problem is that a six hour shift on Saturday is worth not six but NINE hours and that's 40 silver sickles that the Izzie cannot really afford to miss out on. It will be such fun on the new roster starting on Wednesday when there's 3 of those stupid pissy four hour shifts to be filled every day. The chances of being dumped with them will increase dramatically – especially since the Izzie was so outspoken at the recent discussion about them. Already got a 7-11 next Saturday. Will be nice to potter off to St Brutus for the afternoon reading “Order of the Phoenix” but it won't be so nice on payday when we will get 6 hours pay for that Saturday rather than the 9 it would have been if we had worked the usual 6 hour shift.

Apparently, it will be fine and sunny weather for our mid-winter solstice-full moon picnic party. That is a stroke of luck after weeks of wet and rain. So so happy to have been able to get that day off. Would have been most peeved indeed to miss out for the sake of some stupid four hour shift like 2-6pm which ruins your day but is not worth the pissy little pay.

Went to Fremantle. First stop was the Angel's Waffle cafe to get our weekly fix of podcast downloads. Did it once with dial up. Never ever again. More than one hour for a 25mb download. As is – snatched much much less programs than we would have liked – due to such limited access to decent download speeds. Would have liked to add the Science Show and All in the Mind to our list of programs.

Went to the markets to get our weekly ration of green goodness. Izzie suspects that they must feed some dodgy substances to their plantseses as Izzie gets withdrawal symptoms if she does not get her weekly supply of basil leaves.
After that, it was off to St Brutus to finally finish the last two chapters of Chamber of Secrets. Had intended to finish it last Sunday sitting under a tree in our favorite historical graveyard. But it rained all day so that was not really an option.
Was over at the Lair on Friday and picked up “Order of the Phoenix” which we intend to start reading again on Wednesday. One last chance to read it without 20/20 hindsight and to go looking for more clues.

The Izzie has been most irritable and cranky since Wednesday at work. Seemed to calm down today finally while reading those last two chapters. So so many memories and that useful and timely reminder “It's our choices that show who what we truly are, far more than our abilities”
Once again, it seems that rational thinking and feeling have gone off on their own merry ways with the attendant problems that this brings. For a long time they had been working together which had a dramatic effect on the Izzie's state of mental health.

This is not 2001 or 1990 which were the two main times when Izzie was in such a tizzie – being neurotic, claustrophobic, panic attacks and all that. Dolores does not have the power that the bitch Heil Hilde of Hamburg once had as this job does not come with a flat that you have to leave when you give up the job and it is certainly not an issue of life or death. Not at all. But tell that to the stupid reptilian instictive part of the Izzie brain that seems to have gone on Constant Vigilance – Red Alert mode.

Firstly, we now have our Goblin Degree and it is only laziness, procrastination and inertia that is stopping us from taking advantage of it, unlike most of the other house elves who have no job prospects in any other area.
Secondly, even if our hours drop dramatically, we can still get by on about 28 hours a week due to our low maintenance life style. Not having a car and living around the corner makes a massive difference to the income we need to get by on – as well as not having expensive tastes.
Lastly, the place has become so damn toxic since the return of Dolores on 20th April that we would be doing ourselves a favour getting out.

Dolores may not know it but she ought to be very careful. She may not think it but she needs us more than we need her. Izzie is at a disadvantage not having a car but most elves have the option of working with agencies if they do not get the hours they need. Soon another 24 residents will be arriving and if she pisses off too many elves in the next few weeks, she just may find herself with no one left to do the work and enormous bills for filling the gaps with agencies and the owner would be most peeved indeed.
Already, at least five nurse elves and one laundry elf are just about ready to put a sock in it and tell her where to stick her $%^& job.

But most importantly of all, there is nothing so empowering in a job as not being afraid of losing it. Bosses can smell fear and if they know you are weak or desperate, they will walk all over you. Funny – it's when you have other options, you can call the shots – act as if you are in charge, not put up with shit and as often as not, then they will be the ones bending over backwards to keep you happy.

Izzie knows all this stuff and much of it from bitter experience but do you think she can get that damned reptilian brain to listen and turn off the panic buttons? Maybe it is intuition and instict saying – we will make life hell for you until you get the hell out of there.
izmeina: a snippet of Escher's circle of serpents (Default)
Izzie has been a busy little serpent since returning to her day job last week. Looks like Dearest Dolores has come up with yet more schemes to make life more fun for her happy little house elves. There's already a lot of badwill with the business of now having no cleaning or laundry staff at all on weekends.

But Izzie has been hearing rumours about a new 2-6pm shift – yesss – a pissy little four hours.
They've been shuffling around the kitchen elves and one who has been there for years and years has had her double shift on Saturdays shortened from 10 to 8 hours in total as well as losing 30 minutes each day on her other shifts. So she is now seriously considering leaving and going on the dole. She had told Dolores that she is already only getting by because she is living on her credit cards and cannot afford to lose any more hours. And what does Dolores say “Well. You had better learn to live within your means!” Maybe instead of Dolores, Marie Antoinette would be a more appropriate name. This repulsive bitch may only actually work 30 or so hours a fortnight but she damned well gets PAID for 80 (and spends the rest of the time smoking and snarking) – goes chopping everyone else's hours (but not her own) with a chainsaw and then gets all uppity when people get upset about it.

One of the cleaners who has worked Saturday to Wednesday for years and years, told Dolores that she is unable to work the Thursdays and Fridays required under the new Monday to Friday only cleaning regime. Dolores asked if she had another job. She doesn't. Apparently those are the days she sets aside for her grandchildren.
In spite of the fact that 90% of the staff are female and most of them are either mothers or grandmothers – that is of no interest at all to dearest Dolores. Her basic attitude is – well tough titties. If you don't like it, go somewhere else. Especially amazing how they think it is perfectly reasonable to expect you to neglect your own family in order to spend time looking after other peoples' relatives.
It is a far cry from the philosophy of getting what you want by giving people what they want – as far as possible and only then resorting to coercion. At another place the Izzie used to work, there was an 8.30-2pm shift which was highly coveted by all the mothers with school aged children. Needless to say, the performance and attendance rates of the staff on that particular shift were well above the norm because everyone who ever got their paws on it did their damndest to keep it.

And now they have got the axe on the care elf shifts too. There will be 24 new residents coming in before the end of the month in the new building that is finally ready after many many delays. They think that they can get away with adding one new shift of 2-6 in the afternoon and making the 4-9 shifts 3-8.30pm and the 4-10pm shifts 4.30-10. So basically a whole bunch of pissy 4, 5 or 5.5 hour shifts in the evenings.

They may as well go put with their job adverts “Single income households need not apply” because there are very few people living on their own who can get by on as little as 40 -55 hours a fortnight – especially in one of the lowest paying jobs around. As is, these cheapskates already pay one silver sickle less per hour than most other nursing homes.
But at the same time, if their main market now is house wives looking for part time work, those sorts of hours are not exactly family friendly if you have kids of school age unless you have a partner who is a baker or some other early starting job

The new shifts will be starting on Wednesday 22nd June. Izzie has put in a request to work a morning shift or have that particular day off as it happens to be not only a full moon but the solstice as well. That does not happen very often as is just the excuse we need for a moonshine picnic.

But a really funny thing happened today. The Izzie turns up for work at 7.30 to be greeted by the Laundry elf who asks if we got our book today. Izzie asks what book and she says that she heard we were going into town to the book shop for 7am to get the latest Potter. Most amused indeed. After several enquiries from various elves, Izzie finally puts two and two together. Last night was telling another girl that we had requested 16th July as a day off and would be going into town to get our copy at 7 or so in the morning. One of the other elves who happened to come into the room at the time says to the Izzie that that is most sad indeed. Turned out that she had missed the first bit of the conversation and assumed that we meant the next day – that is this Monday morning. She was also working this morning and must have been wondering how on earth the Izzie was going to make it back on time and had most likely said that we might be late turning up for that very reason.
She was even more shocked when Izzie explained today that we would be giving up a Saturday which pays time and a half just to get our paws on some silly book.

So, now the Izzie has well and truly established herself as the resident eccentric. But another elf came out of the broom cupboard to say that herself and her daughter are fans and would both be getting their copies the day it comes out. Was working with her Saturday night and had no idea at all.

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